I have a headache. One of the burdens in life is having a live-in maid. I think everybody may tend to agree with me. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. So essential but to many unlucky ones may face various problems associated with them. Name it, social problem, abuse problem, runaway, health and hygiene, and these are all the things we try to regulate in our home.
Near all my friends have one or all of these problems. Some of them gave up totally. One or two ignored the problems.
For me what choice do I have? I needed a maid so I see what I want to see so that I can live happily and ignore any warning signs.
She has been working with me for almost 2 years and there were lots of telltale signs which I ignored because I needed a maid to clean and iron. Lately somehow I became fearful to leave the kids with her even for half an hour for a short trip to the shop. Lots of horrendous thoughts entered my mind, you know all the horror stories you heard.
Many times it’s so frustrated to see her cleaning work. Even a twelve year old can think. And she is 40 year old.
My maid destroyed our garments. To avoid from scolding her I decided that all washing and clothes segregation is done by me. She didn’t wash food properly and her cooking was so yucky despite reminders. Tired of talking, starting 6 months ago, all food preparation and cooking is done by me. No problem I still can take all those. Once arrived home from work, I rushed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. She accompanied my kids watching TV.
Not to mention anything that she could break had been broken. Sometimes I also was amazed by her strength.
My children they don’t want Bibik to wash for them or to bathe them or to change their clothes. No problem, I’ll do it. Anyway what better way to bond and form relationship with our kids.
I know she has never shown concern for the kids and seemed to put herself before the kids. Many times I have lectured her about it but nothing seems to change. What can I do, I need her for cleaning and ironing.
Her appetite seemed to be so big, I made it a point she had something to munch all the time so that she won’t be bored staying at home during the day. She finished everything in a flash and I needed to find some more for her.
Her night routine is watching TV with me and the kids. Well; she’s a human being too!
Anyway, this is what bothered me. Emir, since he started talking and because nursery children are always taught to complain when being hit, have been complaining to me recently that the maid slapped and pushed his head. It happened again this morning when I left them alone at the car for a short while. When I started to drive away, Emir said “ Mommy.. Bibik pushed my head..” I was already late so I decided not to return to the house to ask the maid about it. Previously a month ago, I needed to go to the shop after coming back from work. When I left the house Emir was crying because he wanted to follow me and Fatini was sleeping. When I got back upstairs Emir said “ Mommy, Bibik pushed my head “ and used his hand to demonstrate how the maid slapped the back of his head and jerked his head. I repeatedly asked him just to make sure and got the same answers. Immediately I went to my CCTV recorder ( I have a CCTV at home with 4 cameras covering major family areas, I never checked this recorder unless I am suspicious of something). I rewind and checked and I found that I didn’t see her and Emir for a period of 15 minutes in those areas (I was gone for about 45 minutes). From the recorder I can guess she put Emir between the kitchen and the main hall downstairs which is a blind spot to the camera.
I went downstairs and asked her where was she and Emir because I couldn’t see them in the camera recorder. She told me at the front door because Emir was crying. I didn’t tell her what Emir told me but instead warned her that she was not to hit my kids. She nicely said her previous jobs were all looking after small kids and she never hit any of those kids.
I found out yesterday from neighbours and my mother’s maid that
1. her day daily chore is hanging out with one maid after another from morning to evening. Just before I got home she will return to the house. No wonder my house is so dusty.
2. When she was working with another family in Saudi she was beaten because the employer found out she had been hitting their kids
Do I still need her? Do I need to wait for a bigger reason before I decide to rid of her?
