Photoshoot

The other day Fatini told me, just when she woke up, “Mommy I think when I sleep. Do you also think when you sleep?” O oh… my girl has started to be aware of her dream. “No, mommy don’t think when I sleep, Mommy dream….” I told her.

So from that time on when she woke up sometimes she told me that she dreamt. Yesterday she told me, “ Mommy I like croissant so much. At night I dreamt about eating croissant!” Now, she must be thinking about food so much.

Yesterday after picking the children up, the road was unusually jammed with traffic. If we take too long on the road, the kids would start telling me they want to shee shee. Which really irritate me because I have to find a place to stop and it was not easy considering the traffic was not moving. Anyway, somewhere in Tropicana I stopped at one gas station. The toilets were outside and guess what the ladies toilet was locked. Why do they lock the toilet? Bloody h*ll. My children couldn’t wait. The male toilet got a few men inside. So I went to the back, and let my children release themselves there. No choice! Anyway Emir got his pants wet. So I went into the gents toilet and clean the kids, and made one man wait outside patiently. I didn’t care anymore. Leceh betul….

I already planned to take the kids to the photo shop because I need some photos of Fatini for her primary school application. I had told the children so they were looking forward to it. So even though we were late we stopped at one shopping mall. I parked the car and walked in with the kids. Only one photo shop was there and the printing machine or whatever was down as they told me. Feeling disappointed for wasting my time I told Fatini maybe we could take the pictures tomorrow. She was unhappy about it and I didn’t have the heart to let her down. So back into the car, and we went to another part of the town.

Okay, so we found the shop at last and walked in. Emir took a seat first and started posing. The funny thing was he looked into the camera but as soon as the photographer counted to three he will look downward or side ways or up or shut his eyes. So every time the picture was snapped his eyes was either close or looking somewhere. After about ten shoots, and still no good pictures, the photographer gave up and asked Fatini to take a pose instead. Fatini being good finished after two snaps. Then Emir took the seat again, this time he completed after two snaps. Thank God!

A backward mind

In my blog I really refrain from commenting on politics or anything close to it but this morning I was so upset when I heard the news that the current government reverses back the teaching of Science and Maths subjects from English to BM. They have lined up all measures instead to improve the children’s English by increasing hours in English Language class and increasing the numbers of English teachers. When I read the measures the more pissed I become.

This person whoever that is making the decision has missed it. The so called experts and specialists that were involved in the task force team or workshop whatever they called it have been misled. They are confused about English as a language versus the usage of English in Maths and Science subjects.

In English language classes, students do not learns science and maths!!!! English class is language class! Science and maths are technical subjects!!! Language subject versus technical subjects, get it? English teachers don't teach maths and science! The maths and science teachers are not language experts.

In language classes they don’t apply the Science and Maths terms and application!! In maths and science classes grammar don’t matter! In addition, they are so many branches of maths and sciences. For example, in Biology at A level grade there are lots of writing but hardly there's any language structure there, mostly facts and figures. A level Chemistry, Physics, add maths, where do we use so much grammar or full structure of sentences here? Don't even mention the local curriculum in these subjects for primary and secondary.

Maths, Science and technology do not originate from this country and our people hardly make significant discoveries in these areas. We learn from other countries discoveries and advanced research. Because theseother countries can afford to spend billions in research. Even in my field, the oil and gas industry, all programs, equipment, new technologies, even some experts etc are all imported.

So really, we don’t care whether children’s grammar is correct or not in English when they learn Science and Maths subjects. We want them to be familiar with the technical terms and application and this really help them in life. We want to create a new generation with broader mind here. There are thousands of children reference books in Maths and Science in English which are very well written whether local or overseas. These available references expand the children minds after learning some basics at school. At least our children do not become “ katak bawah tempurung”. What’s important is the knowledge and that they are at par when discussing these subjects with students worldwide. Their grammar in English as a language will improve as years went by and they grow up. These are not concerns.

So I wonder what are the actual problems?

Children and students are not the problems. You put them anywhere in this world and they will catch up very fast. Even if I send my children to Germany and get them to attend classes in German now, language or technical subjects, I bet they will have no problems in no time. That’s how absorbing, expanding and adaptable the young minds are.

If the problems are teachers, solve the teachers problems. Why do the children have to take the blow if inadequacy comes from the authority. Anyway, the teachers need not be perfect in English to teach Science and Maths. They just need to apply the correct technical terms. The medium of instruction can be mixed at this stage until they improve the teacher’s college curriculum.

Or is it the bahasa ibunda problem? Then improve and add additional hours on the local language classes!

Everybody wants the best for their children. The world is moving fast forward and we cannot reverse backwards. The rich will send their kids to private or international schools now. The average and poor ones will have no choice. Who constitute the rich in our country and who are the poor?

Ghost

These nights it was so cold at night with the aircond on. It was so difficult to get up in the morning. However last night for whatever reason that beyond me, I woke up and couldn’t sleep. When this happened I will normally get out of bed and went to watch TV. Sometimes I even enjoyed the solitary moments in the middle of the night. However last night failing to return to sleep I decided to go downstairs to grab a drink. The house was quite dark with a couple of night lights here and there. However I noticed shadows seems to be everywhere. As I stepped down the stairs, I began to imagine long tussled hair ghost with white long dress lurking somewhere and everywhere and I began to feel scared. My imagination started to get wild (I hate it when this happened) so I avoided looking anywhere and especially at the windows when I was in the kitchen, too afraid I may see something horrid. The more I tried not to think of it the more images came to my ever so creative mind. Quickly I open the refrigerator and took out a drink and began to walk to the stairs again. I really wanted to dash upstairs like a scared chicken as I imagine the ghost following me closely behind but I refrained myself. “Cool, cool….there’s nothing there…” I read some verses quickly. Once upstairs quickly I opened the bedroom door and looked at my hubby and children. See, they are here, nothing to be scared of!!!” I told myself. I felt so relieved back to my sanctuary.

Hahaha. How come I still think of this at this age? Being scared in my own home! Well, all this occur because some months ago the neighbour told us that their maid saw a ghost outside the window around midnight. Well, it could just be anybody but I was feeling scared all the same. The conversation still played on my mind sometimes. I hate it when I remember these ghosts stories. It really scared me. I never watch any local ghost or horror story. I don’t like them and watching these movies are just pure tortures. I don’t mind watching the western Vampires movie though, somehow somewhere in my mind Draculas and Vampires are not that real. Local ghost is something else. Are these ghost for real? Nobody knows for sure. I hope they are not!

Well this morning I woke up not thinking at all about the ghost. It just seem so unreal at daylight. Fatini as usual woke up early as well since she slept early last night. I made her toast and marmite that she liked so much. She even had some time to read rhymes from the book while waiting for me to get ready. Emir was something else. He continued sleeping even as I transferred him to the car. I hope they will have good day at school today.

The weekend

We had a good weekend. Saturday afternoon we went to the Garden to watch the current hot film the Transformers. I have seen the first one so I was looking forward to this one. We brought the kids and Emir was wearing the Transformer t-shirt. Because of the kids we bought the Gold class. It was my first time in the gold class at the cinema. I enjoyed the seat and it was so comfortable. I had quite a good time snuggling with Emir throughout the movie. Emir is still like a baby to me. It’s so nice to hug him. The movie kept Emir interested the whole time. Fatini slept in Papa’ embrace after 5 minutes the movie started and woke up only when it ended. When I watched the first Transformer, I had an ache in the neck possibly due to the tension watching the fighting etc. this time I didn’t have that pain because of the comfy seat. Emir was so besotted with the movie that back at home he was still playing pretending to be the Optimus and refused to let me become Optimus.” Mommy is Bumblebee!” he said.

That night my husband siblings and their families dropped by. They came from up north to send one of the kids to college. As always I love to have them around because they are such lovely and lively lot. Orang utara noh… We chit chatted until well over midnight and the kids were happy to see their cousins too. As they announced quite late that they were coming, I didn’t prepare anything but ordered foods from the café nearby. Hahaha I’m so lucky that we have a café behind the house. Guests to my house will always have food no matter what!

On Sunday, as usual we went to the swimming pool and let the kids splash in the water. I went to the gym just nearby trying to burn calories while waiting for them. Sweat a bit and felt quite happy about my little exercise.

Sunday night normally stresses me knowing the next morning I have to get up early to prepare to go to work. So this morning I was really dragging myself. I really hate Monday morning or weekday mornings actually for that matter! And I always came in late to work on these Mondays.

On the more somber note, my nephew Hakeem was in the hospital for minor infection and as per last night he’s still there as he had to finish the antibiotic course. Expected to discharge today. I had told Fatini about Hakeem being hospitalized last week and from time to time kept asking me whether Hakeem has gone home already. My husband had gone last week to see him and he was okay. We decided not to bring the kids to the hospital because of current pandemic situation. Hakeem, hope you will be patient until you get out of the hospital today, ok!

Kid's behaviour

These days I always reminded my children to listen to teachers and always respect them. This came about because a teacher had complained about Fatini's behaviour to me. "She was a good girl," she said, "but she could be stubborn sometimes." I knew my little girl, she could be so difficult and when she is in that mode I really have to go about it to mellow her or alternatively overpower her obstinacy with my anger.
So i told my kids, " Mommy pay the teachers to take care of you during the days when I go to work. So you must listen and respect the teachers always, remember that!"
Emir quickly jumped in" I always listen mommy!" Yes Emir, you always said that. but at least you understand what I meant. And Fatini promised me that she will always listen to her teachers.
The other day, while I was downstairs, Emir got himself a pen and had scribbled his tummy. When I got upstairs, immediately he tried so hard to cover his tummy with his shirt and gave me that cheeky naughty laughs and giggles. I just knew it that he had done something he shouldn't. When I managed to uncover his tummy, whoa! the whole tummy was scribbled with black pen. I didn't bother to wash it that night so he went to sleep with it.
In the morning he was crying and refused to go into the car. So I thought, what the hell wrong because he's not like this before, never! He was crying out something which I thought he said he wanted to watch teletubbies. But I forced him to get into the car because I didn't want to be late. And he was crying. When his papa came down, he said, Emir said he wanted to wash his tummy first. Ohhh... I thought he said he wanted to watch teletubbies first. Tulah.. pelat sangat! Sorry Emir.... So I washed his tummy (luckily the ink came out quite easily with soap and cloth) and he happily got into the car after that.

Sex Education - how early?

Today I talked to one friend which I considered more level headed with regard to her children. Despite her job as a professional ( the same field as me) unlike other professional mothers, she really taken to heart her task as a mother to three teenagers, more hands-on and we shared the same standards of concerns and anxieties on our respective children.

I asked her when did she start the sex education on her children. She said when they were very2 young. What brings about this is when I came across some stories with regard to abuse on young children. It’s really a horrified subject which scares parents. It scares me to death.

I have introduced the sex education to Fatini and Emir in terms of they cannot touch their private parts and they cannot let other people touch them. Also they cannot touch other people. Apart from that I didn’t start any conversation. I haven't taught them on limits between people. About strangers. Now I think I should. I am going to start this sex awareness, abuse and sex related moral education. It should be a continuous routine like any other conversation rather than a one off serious session. The idea is to create the awareness and make it part of on going moral education. Why now? The answer is I really don’t want to start the talking when it’s too late and the children don’t want to listen anymore. Children are so fragile and they can be taken advantage of at any time.

However it is a difficult subject and I have uncertainties of what I should tell and what I shouldn’t. What ever it is, their age has to be taken into consideration. They are fragile. I cannot be too detailed or blunt. Exposure of knowledge will be based on need to know. Maybe more detail when they are older. For the time being just some facts to create the awareness about sex and abusive behaviours of others. With all the going ons in this part of the world, I feel that children need to be matured earlier. Not all people are good people is the fact that needs to be made aware to the kids. Not all adults can be trusted. What a sad realization to expose to the children at their age.

Don't sweat the small stuff

When I heard about Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett this morning, I was enveloped by feelings of melancholy and sadness. Like other people, I just knew them from pictures and TV. But I did grow up with them even though they were in another side of the world. My childhood idol was Farah Fawcett with her blonde and flipping hair. I remembered as a child I used my mother's hair dryer trying to curl my hair like hers, looking into the mirror very2 hard trying to imagine I have the Caucasian eyes and I walked around shaking my head pretending that my hair was blonde like Farah Fawcett’s.
Then there was Michael Jackson songs over the years which I played over and over again. Silly as it may sound, I am one of those who feel this lost. They were part of my childhood and growing years memories.

These people died quite young. The news made me feel a little insecure about life. How our life can be taken unexpectedly and as swiftly as that. While these people have their own issues but so do we have our own issues albeit at different levels. And when death takes us these issues which took priority while we are alive become not as important anymore.

And one day it will be my turn.
I pray to God that my family, my kids and myself are graced by God with health, wisdom and long meaningful life. Amin.

My father

Some have written about their fathers. Some may have fathers who still live. Some have fathers who have passed away. Mine is on my thoughts always. My father is bedridden. The sad things about being bedridden is sometimes you got forgotten in the hecticness of life around you.

Imagine being immobile. The children visited you when they have times. But they have nothing to talk to you about except for hello and greetings about the first 3 minutes when they arrived and goodbyes in the last 2 minutes before they left. It’s all out of respect and mainly guilt of being the children of a sick parent.

Imagine the frustration yet unable to say it. Imagine the pain of the bone in every slightest movement. The pain in the thinness of the skin when it stretched. Imagine the headache of lying day after day, month after month immobile. Imagine the boredom. Where are my children? Why am I so lonely? Why am I still living this painful life?

The above was what I always imagine what my father is going through. And yet I am still one of the children I just mentioned. The one who was raised to be successful and independent and yet helpless when it comes to taking care of a parent.

Many2 times when I am at my parents house, I noticed my father got forgotten. We just passed by him Chasing our children. Minding our business. Enjoying the get togetherness between mother, children and siblings. Everybody is enjoying themselves yet he was not included.

Yet my mind went back to the time before he was bed ridden just a couple of years ago. Always sitting on the porch to see us go. Always have this look that I had interpreted as concern.

You know what my secret is. I always thought I was my father’s favourite child when I grew up. That was what I believe secretly whether it be true or not. But when I became adult somehow I felt I was a disappointment to him. I don’t know why I thought I failed him.

There are memories that I have of him. He was the one who cried when I left to go oversea to further my study. He cried on my shoulder when I took his hand to kiss. Nobody else ever did cry on me.

When he visited me when I started my job, he was so proud when he saw my full name on the door of my office. He said to my mother, “see there was my name not your name on the door” referring to the surname.

There were thousand of things he did for me that I cannot possibly list here. His difficulty in trying to raise a new generation which he wanted to be better than him were those that I remembered the most. There were a great lack of money but lots of sweat, effort and advices and that’s what I appreciate and cherished most. I can still remember the sweat on his forehead and a big smile on his face when he saw me coming to him each month he visited me at the boarding school for 5 years I was there.

I still remember he kissed the money I gave him when one day I decided to just hand some money to him.

I remember I showed him my report card each term and he said I was so clever. Just what he wanted. Keep it up.

When I grew up we never went for holiday to create memories which most parents do nowadays with their children which is to create happy memories. I wonder sometimes, are children really going to appreciate the happy memories or still wanting more as they grow older. Or are children going to remember more of our difficulties in raising them and they will grow to appreciate us more?

Are we as parents want to have grateful children or just want to let them will grow up and go away.

I thought what a life we go through but life is always a cycle isn’t it?

Working away

Some years ago I worked far away from family and friends. Not married yet and no worries. I even worked in the dessert and made acquaintances with the camels and still okay.... no problem....Now when my boss mention the other day I had to go away (overseas) for a few days, i began to worry. Oh, oh! what about my kids? Who's going to take them to school? who's going to cook dinner? can my husband cope? Should I call my mother to come to KL ? Or should I take them with me?

I used to know a couple of women who left their children back home and worked somewhere else and not meeting their children for months. I never thought it strange back then, but reflecting back, I don't think I could ever have done that! How I have changed.

Problem

I cannot access my google account from my office any longer. That explained why I was quiet the whole week. It’s really frustrating. To access from home is almost near to impossible. I am not one who can sit by the computer while my kids happily by themselves. They never leave me alone. Both of them will swarm around me soon after I switch the pc on. Then they will take over from me.

This week I went to one of the private schools in KL. I made an appointment to visit the school. I thought the location could be suitable however the roads approaching the school were quite busy. The school itself is quite small, jammed and packed with students. The layout is terrible and there’s no space for children to roam around free. It’s really different from what I imagine considering that it’s a paid school. After looking at the facilities and classrooms I lost interest.
I couldn’t imagine putting the kids there for 12 years even though the school prides itself for its students academic and co curriculum achievement.
There are other schools that I will visit soon. Now I began to worry again about the kids schooling.

Shoo! Shoo! Mosquito!

Sorry the video taken is upside down, I don't know how to correct this.

Never ending story

Last weekend I was at my hometown. All my siblings were there. So there were lots of children. In between us there were two maids, which is my mom’s new maid and my SIL’s maid. My SIL’s maid is young, always smiling sweetly and seemed to be good and patient with children from my view and others. I had asked her to feed my children whenever she can. The new maid seemed rough and a bit calculative when asked to do anything that she didn’t consider her scope of work.

So one of the evenings, I needed Fatini and Emir to be bathed since they were sweaty and it’s almost dusk So I was looking for this young maid. I call her names but there was no answer.
So I went to a room, It was close. So I opened it, without knocking in a sudden move… and I caught her in action!
She certainly didn’t look sweet at the time when she was being rough with my 6 year old niece. Her voice and face were completely different from what she showed to us. She was shouting harshly (herdik) and throwing shirts to the floor near my niece in a very rude and rough manner. And I looked at my niece’s face which showed something like it’s not unusual to be roughened like that.

I never thought this was possible coming from this maid! She was so shocked and her face turned pale as she saw me. She put her hands to her chest and certainly looked scared. I pretended nothing happened. But I thought she saw that my face has changed but still pretending like I saw nothing I had to continue asking her whether she can bathe Fatini and Emir. In a way I regretted opening the door to find that kind of situation. I was thinking well, all this time I thought it was my fault for being so suspicious of my maid, now it seemed that others who trust their maid completely may be careless as well.

I thought I would not tell my SIL straight away as I am afraid she would know I tell. But the next day I couldn’t contain it anymore so I told my SIL.

Another story was my mother’s previous maid who worked for two months before my mother sent her back to the agency due to extreme laziness. When I saw her she seemed nice but extremely slow.
Since she was not functioning my mother decided to return her. However she refused to get into the car. Even though my mother threatened to call the police she refused to obey. She seemed adamant to stay. So my mother called my second sister who lived nearby. My sister came and as she was bigger, she took the maid’s hand and pulled her (at that time the maid was in the bathroom washing her clothes) straight into the car. She was not given time to pack. From the bathroom straight into the car and returned to the agency. The story didn’t end there. Upon arrival of the new maid who cleaned up the store in the kitchen, they found properly packed and kept well hidden was my sister’s handphone (she had to buy new one when it was lost), my mother’s watch which was a present from my niece to her grandma (my niece bought another one to replace), my niece’s pretty t-shirts and my mother’s wardrobe drawer keys. Luckily my mother didn’t keep her gold in the house.
The other day the agency called my mom saying that the maid has asked to find her handphone and watch which was left at my mom’s house. What a nerve! My mother couldn’t believe her ears and told the whole story to the agency who kept quiet.

Can you imagine what these maids up to? Being trusted with our belongings and children?

Author Fatini

Work of art by fatini (5 years old). She has drawn many many impressive pictures but this one is the first I have seen which come with some story, all written by herself unaided last night. I got to see it pleasantly surprised when she showed me her work. Good job Fatini.

My guests

Yesterday I had invited my two brothers and families to my house for dinner. I am happy to learn that my brother (the one who lives in Melaka and just started work in KL) has moved his whole family to our area in KL/Selangor. That makes three of us now. The other two are in Melaka closer to my mom. I’m thankful to them for being around closer to my mother to keep her company. I know they visit my mother very2 often.

As for me here it’s nice too to know relatives are around. If there is a kenduri kendara at any of our places, we know at least that this crowd is around to support. Prior to recent years, I have been very much alone in KL. I hardly meet any of them except if we happen to visit my mom’s house at the same time. Any one of us would also be on extended oversea assignment which make it very difficult to meet. I guess we are all much older now and are more settled. And eventually we want to go back to basics i.e. stay at home with family and form back bonds with siblings and close relatives and friends.

So they came last night. My idea is just a simple get together. Once I arrived home from work at about 6.30 pm, I started my cooking (spaghetti olio) in a large pot to feed 6 adults and 10 big and small kids. I supplemented the meals with ordered nasi goring from nearby café, popiah, black forest cake and durian for desserts. My SIL asked me mana lauk, hehe tak de, ni aje.... Anyway my spaghetti was favourite with little Farisha (youngest cousin). I think she ate my spaghetti non stop! and she ate the cake too! and yet she's so tiny.....

Fatini and Emir were so excited to see many cousins came. But I think they miss Hakeem and Nabila's presence. However Emir was so delighted to meet so many bigger boys and had a mighty boys night, running and tumbling around . It was good to be together

The mothers' night out

Emir & Taekwondo

Since Emir has so much energy and I wanted to do something about it in a way, I told his guardian at the child care to enroll him into the afternoon Taekwondo class. Actually the worry is he is still too small to be able to take instructions and I guess they don’t want disturbance to the class. So they put him into trial class at first. This had been a month or so already. The report I got is he only follow the stretching instructions but he came out of the class drenched and soaked in sweat like he’s done a marathon.
I always asked him, “Emir! Show mommy what you did in Taekwondo.” And he will sit down, put his feet together and bend down (stretching) then he gets up, kick his leg to the front, to the back. Shout “HUH!! Then stand straight and bow.
And that’s it! All in 15 seconds or so.
Anyway as I watched him I feel very proud of him.

What I want to achieve for him is actually for him to learn self discipline, confidence, concentration, respect and of course physical as well as mental strength which Taekwondo is. And it's okay to start young.
For me Taekwondo is good for both boys and girls, but I have asked Fatini whether she likes to join the class but she said, “ Taekwondo is for boys”. Okay, I could see she has no interest and I also think she’s too fragile for it ( and I feel the guilt of being gender discriminative here).

Fatini's Birthday Pictures

These were Fatini's birthday party pictures which I wanted to capture here.

Trip

On Saturday Fatini and Emir had a school trip. They visited an Ostrich Farm. It was fun for them. They had been talking about the trip since weeks ago. It was especially fun since they were with their friends and teachers as well as parents. It was the first time that Fatini and Emir rode on a coach too. They had never been in a bus before. Emir asked me, where’s the seat belt? It was a sunny day and even though it was hot it was also windy and the place had lots of trees. After the farm, they visited a cookie factory and had a try on making the cookies.

The preparation

As previously mentioned, last Saturday I had the dinner function. In my company this is something we look forward to. Especially the women like me who hardly go out for any party. Well, it’s also the only time we get to dress up, makeup and show off. Weeks before the function we would discuss and ask each other what are we going to wear etc etc. Some of us will go to great length to have professional make up and hair do.
What about me? This was my preparation.

Starting the Saturday afternoon I started to get nervous. After putting the kids to sleep, I went to the shop nearby. I brought with me Christina Aguilera picture and showed the hair dresser I want hair like that. He he he. Just tried my luck, maybe I’ll get hair like that. One hour later I came out of the shop with my hair looking like anything but Aguilera’s hair . But still okay la tu. Somebody remarked later like Marilyn Monroe’s hair. Betul ke mata dia orang ni?
Then I came home. Fatini was awake and Emir was still sleeping. I’m supposed to put on make up by myself. I thought rather than have somebody paint my face paying RM150 I’ll do it myself. After assembling all my make up items old and new, I started to work on my face. I really am not good at makeup and I hardly wear make up to work except for a little bit of eye liner and lipstick.
However I have had professional make up done before so I think I know how to do it.

It’s not easy though with Fatini by my side, asking me, why are you putting this, why are you putting that? What is this, what is that? Oh my God, give me some peace, I prayed. To make it worse, all of a sudden I heard Emir woke up and cried, MOMMY MOMMY! I WANT MOMMY!
Failed to calm him down my husband brought him to me and I left my task to soothe him. After which, Emir joined Fatini to satisfy their curiosity as what was I been doing. Touching everything and refused to give me some of the items I need. It was a war trying to finish my makeup.
However finally by God’s grace I was done. I put on my dress and shoes to see the result. Emir said, your dress is beautiful. Thank you Emir. Fatini said, No ! it's not beautiful. Thank you Fatini. It was now almost time to go. My husband who on last minute had decided to go then got ready and came down. Emir upon seeing his daddy said, Papa, your shirt is beautiful! His papa was pleased. Emir is a real gentleman. On the way we dropped the kids at their cousins’ house. Fortunately Emir and Fatini understood I had to go to “work” and did not give any problem whatsoever.

Pictures? Hmm. Maybe later.

Going out

I got a dinner and dance (company’s function) this Saturday night. Normally I will go with my husband. As in every year we have to arrange for child care. Normally we called my sister in law (my husband’s sister) who was still single to look after my kids. But she just got married so I don’t want to call her. But I also have my other sister in law (my brother’s wife) living not too far away since last year. She has no problem to take the kids in. The problems lie with the kids especially Fatini when I told them that I have to go to ‘work’ on Saturday night. Why do you have to go to work at night, mommy? asked Fatini with teary eyes. It didn’t make any sense to her that all of a sudden I’m going to work at night. I didn’t want to lie to her but she’s too small to understand that Mommy want to go have a party. I mean this is the only night in a year that I go out without my kids. Yes, I never have parties since I got them, oh yes, only kids’ birthday parties. That is fun too!

My husband said that to lessen the impact on the kids, maybe he should stay home to look after the kids. That means I am going alone and I really don’t mind since I know at least some of the people. I have asked my SIL to come with me because I have booked for two places. She was reluctant since she doesn’t know anybody and hasn’t got a dress to wear. She even told me that there will be AF final that night on TV. Well, I never watch AF but she is fanatic on it. The dress can be bought since there’s still time but she’s right about not knowing anybody. It would be awkward to her.

Every year I would sneak out of the house quietly and left the kids in the house without them noticing my absence for another half hour or so. This year it would be different as I would have to send them to their cousins’ house and leave them there. I can imagine the scene they will make, Fatini’s tears, Emir’s screaming, etc etc. They love to be with their cousins Nabila and Hakeem but my kids are used to having me around outside school hours. Deviations from routine really worry my kids. Or maybe it worries me too!

I have another day to determine whether I’m going alone.