The little warrior in action

Last Sunday, Fatini was scheduled to take the exam for the taekwondo grading. She has only started a dfew months. I realised that Fatini has many hidden talents which she didn't show to me. I meant, I never expected anything from her, I just wanted her to have a good time. However watching her perform the taekwondo, I can see how dedicated she is towards anything that she did and how responsible she is. She just filled me with admiration for her. I'm so proud of you sayang.

Happy Birthday Emir

On 5^th December 2009, Emir was finally 4 years old. I had his birthday party done 2 weeks plus earlier because of expected busy times during this time which is absolutely true.

Emir, you are a joy to my life. You have become so handsome and grown so tall. You are also very smart, capable and compassionate. Your mind sometimes surprises me with its brilliance and sharpness I didn’t know you possess for such a small person your age. You are also very responsible and very caring. You have a sense of fairness and always try to be fair to your love ones.

At four years old, you can talk very well now and sometimes non stop. You are not afraid to speak up and will voice out your mind to people. I love listening to you and your refreshing accent.

You want to sleep only with me by your side. When you were very little, which was just a couple of years ago, you didn’t want me out of your sight! However, I notice now, you have become so much more independent and it’s okay when mummy leave you to go somewhere else for a while. Even though it is more convenient to me now, in my heart I felt a twinge of sadness that you don’t depend too much on me anymore. When I wanted to go out and I told you to stay home and you said “ok mommy” with your ever beautiful accent, instead of crying, it pulled that sadness string in my heart.

You also liked to praise me, saying I’m pretty, and you know what, coming from you, it means a whole lot to me!

Emir, do you know that mummy really love to smell your smell, have you sit on my lap and have you snuggled closed to me. When you hit your sister during one of your naughty episodes and I warned you to give your sister away, you said “ No, I don’t want that!”

My heart swells with pride to watch you feeling secure and your confidence growing day after day.

And I hope to persevere that feeling of security and protect you from any harm.

I have thousands of words to say but it’s impossible for me to pen them down here.

All I can tell is I love you so much and you have been the greatest joy to me. I pray you turn out to be a good responsible person and that you be successful in your life.

Qurban

Last Sunday was one hot day in the farm at Meru. I joined my husband’s group of friends in making Qurban, slaughtering of 2 cows and 2 sheeps. The men were working on the animals. I couldn’t watch though and didn’t let the children see the actual slaughtering for fearing of misunderstanding as they are still very young.

Emir remarked that the men were wicked men! But fortunately the kids didn’t give much attention to the activities as they busied themselves with more interesting past time with the horses and goats on the farm. The women helped with the onions, tomatoes and carrots. Easy job for us.

The meat was distributed to the poor people round the village, a shelter for girls, and the Rohingya refugees. We did cooked some meats for a late lunch which was served garden tuscan styled under the trees. Very nice indeed. Everybody had a great time even though the weather was quite hot and sweaty. I didn’t take picture, but I did record some scenes on my camcorder. This one picture was snapped by Emir.

Emir

Emir’s receiving his year end graduation from the Edudrama class. It’s end of year cum Christmas celebration. The class will be closed and continue after new year. The kids have been enjoying the classes and I have no reason not to continue. As long as they are happy. One thing is Saturday morning will never be a free time for me. However, I am enjoying every moment of the busy"ness" of being a mom to almost school going kids.

I am proud of Emir. He has been progressing very well. His "pelat" ness is almost gone even though I feel his speech has accent of baby talk which I love so much. It makes him very endearing. However he's growing very fast in terms of physique (he's tall) as well as mental capabilities. His cheekiness and boyish naughtiness have been on the increasing trend as well and I'm trying to curb it and have been lecturing him. He's been a good boy 99% of the time. I'm so proud of him. I love you Mir.

At Nabilah's party

End of year has always been busy times of the year. For me, it’s filled with birthday parties, school graduations and holiday plans. Last Saturday was the kids’ cousin, Nabilah’s birthday party at their home. We spent the whole afternoon there. There was a magician show and see the children’s face. They were really fascinated with the show. I think I will hire the magician next time around.

Emir's birthday party

We had Emir’s 4th birthday party last Saturday. It was Emir’s first party. Everything went superbly well after all and the birthday boy was so happy and proud. There were 25 children including his cousins attending. I won't write much as the pictures will tell more stories than I could pen down.

Not so smoothly

I had planned Emir’s Birthday party for tomorrow afternoon. So I made arrangement starting about two and half weeks ago. The invitations went out and since I got very good responses from his school mates and there are limited spaces for the party, my invitees were limited to the school mates and cousins. I had worried about too many children and not enough provisions as almost everyone invited save a couple confirmed their attendance.

So I maximized my order of food and children places. I also added more activities for the children. I bought and prepared the party goodie bags. I thought everything went quite smoothly by beginning of this week and was just getting ready for the party day. My children were excited. Everyday they were asking about the upcoming party.

Until a couple of days ago… when things were supposed to go smoothly something unexpected just have to happen. One of the classes was infected with Hands Foot and Mouth disease. One by one, parents called me cancelling the attendance as their children was infected. I felt sorry for the children, but at the same time I couldn’t help feeling disheartened and disappointed that things didn’t go as smoothly. Why did it have to happen around this time? I felt like crying. So far about 6 of them had called to cancel and it's just days away from the party. I have about twenty more children in total, and I’m waiting nervously for any further bad news.

I really hope no more sick children. I hope everything will go well tomorrow. It’s Emir’s first party! I just want it to be memorable for him.

Outing

Last week Fatini asked whether she could follow her friend Leah to the rabbit farm at Bukit Tinggi. When I talked to the mother, she asked whether I would like to join her together with another of Fatini's friend's mom. So on Saturday afternoon we met at one house. 3 mothers and 6 kids. The children waited excitedly for each other and talking incessantly. It was fun watching them.

We decided to go with two cars, Fatini wanted to ride with her friends, so we exchanged children between us. Another boy and Emir rode with me however Emir was so upset because according to him Fatini was his best friend and he wanted Fatini to be with him. Awww Emir…..Mummy knew you love Fatini so much!

It was hot in the afternoon but as soon as we reached the rabbit farm, it started to rain. Well, the rain didn’t hinder the children, and far from dampening their spirits.

My camera ran out of battery soon after, how forgetful of me to charge the battery. Well it was raining heavily afterwards. We continued the climb to Colmar Tropicale. They managed to play amongst themselves, blowing bubbles and did some sand art.

It was dark when we decided to leave the place.

Meeting of the young at hearts

We had a get together recently after umpteenth year of absence since college days. It was a wonderful, wonderful time. One friend had offered to be a host and therefore we met at her lovely home. Hours went by and nobody stopped talking yet. Next meet, I heard they were talking about me to be the host! They promised to wash the plates and do the clean up afterwards ….

The Witch and the Pumkin

Today the children are going to have a Halloween Party at school. So they rose up early, very happy and excited to put on the costume even though I think Fatini preferred another costume than witch. But I bought that one for last year and I don’t want to buy another one. She, being smart and a little envious perhaps, mentioned it though, about Emir getting a new one, because Emir had a Spiderman suit for last year. "So what happened to the Spiderman suit, did you throw it away, mommy?"she had asked me. But I feel that the Spiderman suit is not suitable for the party so I bought another one. Emir may have grown out of the suit anyway.

They scared their daddy to death (pretend only) this morning.

To you!

The other day one very back dated racist human being said to me in his effort to initiate racial bashing, “Easy for you, your children will get paid by the government for her schooling because you are Malay” He said that because I was chatting about children with the mother of my kids’ friend who happened to be a foreigner.

He tipped me off. Let me steam off...

"Let me tell you b******, Firstly, between me, and my family circle, we paid huge amount of tax, an amount I’m sure is well above what you paid your whole lifetime if you ever pay a cent!

Secondly, my children are born with sufficient wealth, inheritance and abundance of good luck and blessing from God. So far their upbringing which is possibly higher than your monthly salary are being paid by ourselves. And even should we were under the communist government in the future, or whatever government, they will be doing well for themselves! Because that’s what I strived them to be. They are not going to fail because of a government.

Thirdly, I guess you want the government to give you money, for free…

Stop blaming others for your weakness and failure."

Letting go

I had loved this car. It held memories of me and my kids as we spent so much time in the car everyday. It was so messy inside all the time. The back seat was permanently fixed with two big children car seats that I couldn't take any additional passengers. It was full with toys, pillows and books which my kids had used day after day to keep them comfy and well occupied as we bulldozed through the traffic every single day. The back windows were splattered with stickers. I had the car since Fatini was just months old.

Sadly it was time to let go.

Meet again

Last Saturday, we went to a wedding in the afternoon in KL. The wedding was nice except that I heard the wedding had no blessing from the bridegroom's family, (how come?) therefore there was no representative from the male's side. What a pity as it was a beautiful wedding. I was imagining how the bridegroom must have felt getting married in the absence of his parents, and I was wondering what could be more important than giving your son your blessing and presence on his special day.

Then we went to a Hariraya invitation of my long lost friend who I got in contact with recently after so many years. She has recently become my colleague’s neighbour and had by chance mentioned about me. Then we followed by a phone call. I was quite close to her back in school as we represented school in one of the activities that required us to work together for 2 years in form 4 and 5. The last time I saw her was after our SPM result. After which everybody including her disappeared from my life.

I was so happy to finally meet her and she couldn’t believe I could come to her fabulous house. She looked exactly the same to me as she was back then.

There also, I met my history teacher when I was in lower secondary class. It was an additional pleasant surprise. For I kept on saying, I couldn’t have recognized him should I met him elsewhere. To me, he looked totally different (my memory about him was a bit different) but my friend thought he looked exactly the same and they had met accidentally anyway and she had recognized him immediately. He’s a big man now being a director of one of the government branches. I still remember fondly of some teachers who I really want to meet again but the opportunity has not come yet.

Wow, I was talking non stop to them, I hardly ate anything. It’s like me being carried back to my school days. My former teacher saw Fatini and remarked that that’s how I looked back then. Really? Fatini is now confirmed takes after me, he he.

I was in a boarding school throughout my secondary years and I guess maybe I didn’t really enjoy being there that when the time came, I could hardly wait to leave the school finally and never looked back. I did very well in school though scoring highly in all the public exams considering those times we didn't have so many "A" scorers. Anyway by fate, my destiny in tertiary education took quite a different route from the rest of my friends. When I worked, I met none of my secondary school friends either. We had no internet facilities back then nor did I have a handphone. Not to mention I only had Astro connected to my home in 2003!

Now with facebook, internet network, etc, etc I began to get in touch as one by one contacted me or I contacted them. Well, better late them never. Meeting my secondary school friends feels different from meeting other friends because I grew up with them. My most sensitive tender teenage years were with them. Days and nights were spent with them without our parents. Most teenage problems and all heartaches that accompanied it were solved by ourselves. We cried alone ourselves and managed our growing up years together. There was no supporting words from parents in their absence. Our life was guarded by wardens, teachers and prefects. Peers pressure was so felt back then but friendships formed were also strong.

Now decades later we meet again. I really like to meet more of my old friends. Only time will tell.

One Malaysia

Last Saturday Fatini had put on her Divali costume to join in the celebration at school. Happy Divali!

Mother

The Role of the Mother

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I would like to share this article so that we are well versed with our roles as mothers. For me I always take the roles seriously for I have to answer for it in the hereafter. Bless for all mothers in the world.

Article produced from a moderate Islamic website on the internet. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every society is made up of blocks of family units. The stronger each block is, the stronger the structure of the society. Families are thus the building blocks upon which rests the fate of society. For the development of good families, the mother plays a vital role. Many women today have aspirations of progress in their careers, and degrees in various fields. However it is indisputable that the most important achievement of a mother is the raising of sensible, virtuous children who will then move on to build other strong blocks for society. It has been said that it is easy to bear children but it is difficult to raise them well. In that lies the challenge for all mothers.

Islam’s respect for the Mother

A Muslim mother has a valued and dignified role. Her contribution is acknowledged and appreciated. Her unparalleled gifts to the child have been aptly described by Imam Zaynul `Abidin (a) in Risalatul Huqooq – The Chapter of Rights.

It is the right of your mother that you should appreciate that she carried you [in her womb] the way nobody carries anybody, She fed you the fruits of her heart which nobody feeds anybody. She protected you [during pregnancy] with her ears, eyes, hands, legs, hair, limbs, [in short] with her whole being, gladly, cheerfully, and carefully; suffering patiently all the worries, pains, difficulties, and sorrows. Till the hand of God removed you from her and brought you into this world. Then she was most happy, feeding you forgetting her own hunger, clothing you even if she herself had no clothes, giving you milk and water not caring for her own thirst, keeping you in the shade, even if she had to suffer from the heat of the sun, giving you every comfort with her own hardships; lulling you to sleep while keeping herself awake.

The foundation of the family is laid with the decision to marry, and the importance of the mother is evident in Islamic teachings beginning with marriage, conception and then child rearing. The following points illustrate how Islam sanctifies the role of the mother

Emphasis on choosing a good wife

Islam advocates choosing of a wife based on moral characteristics. The Holy Prophet says: Marry into a decent family, for genes have effects. He is also reported to have encouraged Muslims to marry virtuous women in order to have virtuous children He has condemned those who look only for wealth and /or beauty when choosing a spouse.

Respect in this world

A mother commands great respect from her family. She is to be obeyed, and venerated. The Qur’anic verses which talk about the rights of parents include the mother. However the Holy Prophet (s) has enjoined goodness to the mother even before the father. A man once came for advice to him, as to who he should be good to. The Prophet (s) advised him to do good to his mother again. Three times the man asked, and three times the Prophet (s) told him to do good to his mother. At the fourth time, the Prophet (s) told him to do good to his father. This well-known story clearly illustrates the position of the mother in Islam.

Respect in the Hereafter

The famous hadith of the Holy Prophet (s) says: Jannat lies under the feet of the mothers. A woman came to the Holy Prophet (s) and asked why going for Jihad was not obligatory on women. She was afraid that women were barred from achieving the great reward for those who fought and died in the way of the Almighty. The Prophet (s) explained to her that a woman was a fighter in Allah’s way from the time she became pregnant up to the time she delivered, and from the time she began breast-feeding till the time she stopped. If she died during that period, her position would be that of a martyr. To raise a virtuous child is one of the greatest good deeds. It continues to bring reward even after death.

Holy Qur’an on the Mother

Allah says in Sura Luqman:

And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents - his mother bears him with faintings upon faintings, and his weaning takes two years - saying : “Be grateful to Me and to both your parents, to Me is the eternal coming. (31:14)

And in Sura Ahqaf He says:

And We have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents; with troubles did his mother bear him and with troubles did she bring him forth; and the bearing and the weaning of him was thirty months. (46:15)

In both the above verses, although both parents are mentioned, the mother is singled out as she bears a greater responsibility and ultimately a greater reward.

Two mothers are mentioned by name in the Qur’an. When Bibi Maryam, the mother of Nabi Isa (a) suffered the pangs of childbirth, she wished she was dead. She was all alone and worried about what was about to happen to her. At that time Allah consoled her and told her not to grieve. She was provided with fresh dates and water. She was also told to fast for three days by abstaining from talk, and Allah made the baby talk to prove that he was a miraculous baby (19:23-26). The mother is shown concern and consideration for her state. Allah does not abandon her, or reprove her by telling her that she is privileged to give birth to a Prophet. Although that was true, motherhood entails great difficulty, a fact recognized by the Qur’an.

Another mother mentioned by the Qur’an is the mother of Prophet Musa (a). When she was told to put her baby in the river, she was given an assurance that the baby would be returned to her. Allah knows the love of the mother, and knows it is difficult to give away one’s child. When the baby was picked up by Firawn’s wife, he refused to suck the milk of any foster mother. Prophet Musa’s sister then suggested that they try her mother. Mother and baby unite, and Allah’s promise was fulfilled. (Sura TaHa 37-40, Qasas 7-13)

Qualities of a Mother

A good mother has outstanding qualities. No one can replace her in the life of her children. The following are some of the things which make her so unique.

1. A deep love for her children

A mother’s love is unmatched. Whether young or old, healthy or handicapped, troublesome or obedient, the child is still beloved to the mother. This love may be displayed in various forms. Sometimes children misinterpret scoldings and rebukes to be a sign of lack of love. It is important to assure the child that he is always loved, even when his behavior warrants disciplinary measures. Such a child becomes confident and happy, and will never seek solace elsewhere. The love of the mother becomes a source of happiness and peace at home. Children feel attached to the home because of the mother.

2. Sacrifice and dedication

A mother gives up a great deal for the sake of the child. She gives up her time, her sleep, her pleasures etc. to ensure that the child is all right. As Imam Zaynul ‘Abidin(a) says in his book Risalatul Huquq (mentioned earlier), nobody comes even close to doing what a mother does for her child. That is why he says that it is only with help of the Almighty that one can thank the mother for all her sacrifice and efforts.

A good mother places the needs of the child, both physical and emotional needs, first. This is an important point to keep in mind, especially in these modern times. Women today are deluded by society into making their own careers and jobs more important than their homes. The home will always remain a woman’s most valuable work and that may require all types of sacrifices. It is not really a sacrifice, but is an investment which will reap great dividends.

3. Protection and security

A mother always tries to safeguard the child from danger and difficulties. However some mothers tend to be over protective. It is wise for the child to learn to face some problems in life, according to his age and circumstances. A coddled child will be unable to face the realities of the world when he grows up, a world which will not be as considerate of him as his mother.

The role of the Mother

A window of the child to the world

When a baby is born, he is totally unaware of the outside world. The mother plays an important part in introducing him to the world. The outlook that the child will form towards life depends a lot on the mother. His attitude, his views - religious or otherwise- his perspective on life and its goals, will all be gained from her. Eventually he will mature and perhaps form his own changed views, but the initial years and what he learns in them will always have a lasting impression on his mind.

Model for the child

Since the mother is the most important person in the life of a child, she is greatly revered. Her habits and behavior become a model for the child. Whatever the child observes from her, such as her housekeeping habits, her manners, her relationships with others, the way she spends money, and in general her lifestyle, will all undoubtedly affect the child’s character. A mother is said to be better than a hundred teachers. Her emotional strengths and weaknesses are an example for the child, and will be followed for many years to come even though all of it may not be worthy. People have been reported to be following their mother’s ways even when they know the mothers were wrong. It is almost like an unconscious reaction, and it takes effort to behave differently. Thus mothers have an important task of setting forth a good example. It may seem difficult, even impossible. Many mothers think it too great a burden to be acting near perfect all the time, even in the familiarity of their own homes. However it is a good training. What mothers will change in themselves for their children will become a habit, and will lead to a real change. It is not perfection that Islam demands from mothers, but a willingness to accept the responsibility of modeling good acceptable behavior.

Many great people remember their mothers and the role they played in nurturing their greatness. Syed ar-Radhi, the compiler of Nahjul Balgha, mourned the death of his mother greatly. He wrote a poem for her in which he says:

O Mother! I cry and shed tears for your separation hoping that perhaps the burning drops of tears coming out of my sorrowful eyes may melt and remove the mountain of sadness from my heart.

O Mother! You were such a precious jewel and valuable pearl that for getting you released from the plundering enemy’s hand I would have sacrificed everything in my possession as your ransom. But Alas! The death ahs snatched you away from my hand and nothing can be taken back from its deadly claws.

O Mother! If all the mothers of the world would have been righteous like you, indeed the children of the world would not have required the presence of their fathers.

O Mother! All are witness that you were an honorable and noble lady because you have handed over decent and noble children to society.

Excerpts from Meeting the Pious, Ash-Sharif ar-Radi

Shaykh Mutaza Ansari, a great Shi`a Jurist also wept bitterly at the death of his mother. One of his scholarly pupils reproached him, saying it did not befit a learned scholar to agonize so much over the death of his mother. The Shaykh replied: It seems you are not aware of the high status enjoyed by a mother. The proper training given by this mother of mine to me, and the numerous hardships borne by her for my sake elevated me to this position. The initial training given by her to me paved the way for my making all this progress and acquiring this high status in the world of knowledge.

Strengths of a Mother

The following qualities need to be acquired by all mothers.

Awareness of responsibility

Motherhood is a career, and those who take it up must try and excel at it. It is the duty of every mother to look into better techniques and strategies of parenting. A wide variety of material is available, both Islamic and secular. Although Islamic material may not be abundant in English, many secular books and magazines are published about parenting. Reading these from time to time helps increase awareness and vision. When a mother reads about problems that parents face, she is comforted by the fact that she is not alone. That is very reassuring as often parents assume they are the only ones having difficulties. Also, reading about solutions used by other people, or advice given by psychologists etc. helps broaden the choice of possible tactics in dealing with children.

Setting clear goals

A mother has to know what she expects from her children, and then explain that to them. It is not enough to want good children. The children must know what exactly is expected from them, and what the mother wants them to do. Sometimes a mother tells the child to lay the table properly. Because it has not been explained to the child what properly means, he does it the way he thinks it right. The child may consequently be blamed for being sloppy, lazy etc. for not setting the table right. The frustration and heartache could have been avoided if the child knew exactly what was expected from him, rather than a vague order to lay the table. The same can be applied to all chores, behavior with others, academic achievements etc. The mother must have definite goals of what she wants, and make them clear.

Encourage children according to their potential

Each child comes with his own distinctive potential. The Holy Prophet (s) has said: Human beings are like mines of gold and silver. Children have abilities that could lead to great achievements. Some show skill and interest in a certain area, while others prefer a different one. Apart from not trying to compare children with one another, a good mother tries to bring out the best in each child. She makes the child develop his skills in whatever area he is good at, as well as remedy the weakness in each child. If one child is very shy, for example, the mother should not demand that he socialize and interact with others the way his siblings do. Some mothers unwittingly put their children through a great deal of embarrassment and humiliation. The child must be taught to overcome his shyness. Some books on shyness may help. Or the mother could give practical suggestions of what the child could talk about to others. A mother’s gentle guidance can remedy many a flaw and weakness in the character of the child.

Wise Words

1. Fortunate is the person whose mother is chaste and virtuous.

Imam Ja`far as-Sadiq (a)

2. Each one of you is a guardian (shepherd), and each one of you is responsible for his charges . . . so the man is a guardian over his family, and is responsible for them. A woman is a guardian over the family of her husband and his children, and she is responsible for them.

Holy Prophet (s)

Visit from childhood friend

We were happy to receive an old friend and his family (actually his brother was my primary school classmate and he's my brother's classmate) who came to my mom's house in Melaka on the Hariraya. They are from Jitra. We had not seen each other since primary school. Ha ha Faiz told me he had been silent reader to this blog all this while.

I almost couldn't recognize him with his well built body and more grey hair... I thought he was so tiny back then, just joking.

We had an enjoyable long chat, and lots of recollection of childhood memories and talk of the carefree days. Wish could go back to those times and really love to meet all friends back then.

Tiada kata seindah lukisan...

Selamat Hariraya to all... Maaf zahir Bathin....

The ending and the new beginning

So the raya is coming…. I have been so busy both at work and at home throughout Ramadhan, I didn’t have time to make any entry on this blog. Time was hardly there and there was so much to do. Nevertheless I had great time spending time with my family in this month. It was heavenly to have dinner with my husband every single day, that is 26 days so far in a row, this does not happen during other months! And my kids have been splendid. We went out two times for breaking fast, we skipped all buffet places which was unwarrantedly so expensive and wasteful and went for ala carte places instead and pay only for what we need to eat. Other than that, it’s simple home cooking plus some bazaar food, if any.

It was so fun to shop for Fatini and Emir’s beautiful Raya clothing and shoes and we didn’t count that we bought a bit too many. And the cost, we rather not think about it… Yesterday I went to buy some more stuff for home and Fatini hair accessories since she’s so much into hair nowadays, she wants buns, she wants pony tail, clip here, clip there… hahaha she’s a fussy lass, my little girl!

I called my mom and we talked about who’s coming back and when and what we are going to prepare for hariraya. My mom has already kacau dodol, yummy…, my favourite exactly.

My sister already texted me, when are we going coming back to hometown... soon my dear...

I can already feel the ambiance…that subtle familiar feeling of anticipation when hariraya is coming, that little excitement, the coming holiday…. We are going back to my home town first and then my husband’s hometown and there will be lots of visit we’ll be making.

Most of all, I’m going to love spending time with my family and relatives and watching the kids having fun together.

Fatini didn't puasa....at the end of shopping spree.. she's so tired already.

This is daddy's little girl.

T

Once a while picture taken by the daddy

she likes to pose

Always make funny faces for me.

He stand in front of the sister to block her from the camera, typical Emir...

A little deviation from routine

As swiftly as it can, 12 days of fasting have passed. I have been waking up promptly at 4.30 am every single morning. After the early breakfast, which for me and hubby, could be as simple as sandwiches and coffee, especially me, I just couldn’t swallow any rice, I didn’t go back to sleep. It’s just worthless to continue the sleep when I know I have to get ready to work soon. It will jut give me headache to wake up again so soon. Exception is on Sundays off course where time is more at my leisure.

So, I used the quiet uninterrupted moments to clean the kitchen, clear up any mess my children made the night before and get myself ready. In fact I enjoyed the early morning chores and felt like I have a lot accomplished compared to doing work at other times. I could even get to pick and choose what to wear to work. On normal days, I would just blindly grab anything thing that is hanging in the wardrobeThen I woke the kids up before they changed and once everybody rise and shine we set off to our destinations.

I could feel the effect of lack of sleep. If I allow it, I could doze off at my desk at any moment. And work at the office is as stressful as ever, and off course this makes the time flies even faster. Which is to my preference anyway.

Came 4 pm, by hook or by crook, I have to leave the office to avoid the traffic jam which I know would be massive and would start to pack as soon as 4 pm. I don’t want any additional stress especially from the traffic. On my way home, as usual I picked up the kids.

First day I picked them up early, the one most surprised was Fatini. She kept on asking me, repeatedly, why did I fetch her so early? The usual time was normally very very late and all of a sudden it was so early. And kids don’t like sudden changes and wanted explanation. I told her, not sure what to say, “It’s fasting month, I don’t want to be caught in the traffic.” I feel very sure she didn’t understand my reply and maybe wondered at the connection between fasting (which meaning she has not fully grasped yet) with traffic jam, what has one got to do with the other? Anyway, after getting no satisfactory explanation from me, she resigned. She asked again the next day though.

Arriving home, still in my working attire, I would be in the kitchen, applying my speedy skills to prepare for dinner. The kids behave themselves upstairs. Watching TV and sometimes my daughter would sleep for a while.
Emir would sometimes come into the kitchen, looking for me. I know he wanted me upstairs. But sorry sweetie, mommy’s busy.
Then hubby arrived home buying a kuih or two.

We haven’t been going out for the breaking fast even though there’s no lack of invitations either from my hubby or my side of acquaintances. It’s just that I feel it’s such a waste of time to break the fast somewhere ( we used to do that in previous years) and then by the time we got home it would be late, the children would be tired, and I would be extremely bloated and exhausted. I prefer that we break our fast at home in a simple manner and right after we could just rest at home. Then off to sleep. There's one that I plan to bring my kids to, though, which is to break fast with the orphans from one of the orphanages. That will be next week.

Last weekend, taking advantage of the extended weekend, we went back to Kedah. We left in the morning and the journey in the morning was quite comfortable and pleasant. The kids behaved surprisingly well in the car. They were excited to see Tok and Tok Wan. For me I have always enjoyed the visit back to my husband’s hometown.

Once we were there, other siblings started arriving, knowing we were there. As usual, the house was brightened up by cheers, laughters and jokes between cousins, aunties and uncles. We broke our fast over a vast variety of food, since there were many children.

There was also my favourite northern dish as well “lauk daging batang pisang”. You cannot get this outside Kedah, at least I never found it.

On Monday we left Tok and Tok Wan back to their routine and heading back to KL, to our home sweet home.

The first few days

This month of Ramadhan will require me to tune in into new routines. Just a bit of adjustment. That is sleep late and wake up early. Not too much but an hour later and an hour earlier, respectively. Then make up the sleep deficiency on weekends. That will do, I thought.

I was lucky that the 1^st Ramadhan fell on Saturday. So happily, I woke up early for sahur that morning, hoping I could sleep in the afternoon. So afterwards, I did my routine cleaning, prepared breakfast for the kids, even got time to read my novel by some impressive amount of pages (before I couldn’t even get past a page at a time due to interuptions)

So while waiting for the kids at their routine Saturday morning classes, I was beginning to feel a bit heavy eyed and drowsy. I couldn’t wait to get home, I reckoned I had a couple of hours to sleep that afternoon before continuing with my chores for the day. That would be, oh! so leisurely. Nap during the day…a rare indulgence in my life. What better way to spend in the afternoon at home.

We got home after noon, and I so anxious to start napping, quickly fed the kids. Then I prepared milk, darkened the living room and switched on the aircondtion. “Okay, everybody time for nap… “ I announced. 1 hour later nobody slept yet!. Never mind, I thought, I will sleep and they can continue with their playing.

I thought I'd just slept a minute when Fatini woke me up, Mommy, I need to poo poo. Okay, I told her to go…. Then I went back to sleep. Another minute, Emir woke me up, “Mummy, Fatini is finished, she wants to wash” I saw Fatini got a helper to wake me up! I got up and did the necessary things. “Don’t call me again, mommy going to sleep a while, okay….?”, I pleaded and hoped.

But, hope was just a hope, another minute, MOMMY! Then another five minute, Mommy!, Another 5 minute again, Mommy !

Oh my god…when was the last time I could get a good nap? Honestly, I can’t remember. Anyway, I thought I’ve had enough nap for the day. I can always try again tomorrow., I concluded before I got up.

But Sunday was the same story. Somehow the kids didn’t nap at all over the weekends. Normally they did, but not this weekend. They were so engrossed playing with the toys and with each other and made heaps and heaps of mess. But every minute or two, for sure there will be “ Mommy !” or “ MOMMY!!!” at the top of their lungs. So, I gave up the idea of naps forever from my mind. Maybe in a couple more years,…haha

On the positive side, we broke the fast together at home for the past two days. That’s one of the things I love about Ramadhan, we always want to break fast with family.

We also went to Teraweh congregation at the small mosque located just in the vicinity behind our house. Emir has grown up and followed the father to join the males section. According to the father, who relayed to me so proudly, Emir completed 8 plus 3 rakaats of the prayer. He was not being playful, surprisingly. Fatini on the other hand was with me and she did marvelously 6 rakaats, It’s too hot, mommy!, she complained of the garments. “ I want to eat, she whined next. I had thoughtfully brought some goodies for her in my bag and she had her desires taken care of and I could have my peace.

I could see them growing up. Last year, they didn’t even bother to join in and just dashed here and there, mostly moving back and forth between me at the back and hubby at the front of the mosque. This year, they seemed to proceed naturally to the next level. They know nothing about the fasting yet even though Fatini certainly and excitedly knows what the Raya means.

This month promises to be a good one for me.