This morning

I woke up late this morning. My handphone which was my alarm went dead and I didn’t realize it. I was trying to load the pictures from my handphone to my computer last night and I noticed something was not quite right because it took so long. So I l left it doing its thing and went to bed. And my handphone was drained of batteries sometime during the download process. That’s how I came to waking up late.

 I normally like to wake up as early as about 5 am. This allows me to do lots of things without interruption. Like cleaning, ironing, washing etc. Things that I want to do but didn’t manage to do at night because of tiredness and because I need to spend some minutes with the kids. Anyway, in the morning I feel totally recharged. I have already had my night sleep so after the initial groggy moments, I am already refreshed and ready to start the day. Unfortunately this morning I woke up later than usual. And that means rushing like crazy to try to get out of the door. I also asked my husband to help me with the kids and the bags.

Fatini woke up and wanted to change to the school uniform and wanted me to tie her hair as well. I am late already but I could do that quickly since I am already an expert at tieing her hair and could do that in seconds without even using a hair brush!

Upon reaching the road it was already packed with traffic. Not to mention people jumped over the queue and all that. Wonder why they start the journey late and expect to fight the traffic to get through instead of following through. I mean if you want to be early , you start early. Wish people are more patient. I have to be careful though because of the kids in the car. No matter what I found that the traffic police is much help during these times. Without them the road will be a disaster area full with confusion.

Upon reaching school, the teacher came out to take the kids and remarked that I was late today and was wondering what happened to me. Normally I was first to arrive.

Since I was late I decided to follow those roads which I know the traffics are controlled by the police, and I got to the office without suffering too much delay.

Weekend in PD

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Last weekend we decided to go to Port Dickson and spend a night at Avillion. Just to get out of KL for a change. Luckily there was a room available when I checked but with single beds rather than a king size. We took it anyway.

It was a short smooth ride to PD. Upon arriving we stopped at one Satay Kajang stall for late lunch before proceeding to the hotel.

Upon check-in at the hotel we found out that the room which was a Garden Chalet was on the top floor rather than the ground floor. It was worrying for the kids to have to climb the steep wooden stairs up to the room. However, the kids were excited with the beds in the room which were four poster beds and had the curtains cum mosquito nets around it. They had never seen that kind of beds before. So they jumped and jumped on the bed excitedly for a half hour or so. Later the kids had a good time in the swimming pool until it was dark.

Later that night after having a room service for dinner we went to the bar where there was a live music performance. Emir was singing and dancing to the music to our amusement. It was more a pleasure for me to watch him than the actual singers. Fatini had her first cup of hot milo served to her from the bar. She drank to the last drop. 

Later Emir who never stopped dancing and moving since he arrived got out of control with his excitement for the music so we decided to leave to retire to bed.

The next day, we set up a tent on the beach and the kids were having good time flying kites (again). We left the beach Sunday evening for our journey back to KL. It was a short trip but one which brought lots of smile to me watching my kids.

Shopping for my daughter

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I have noticed my daughter lack of top shirts. She has only a few as favorites and refused to wear other shirts which she think embarrass her or not to her trend (according to her peers standards) so her available choice for shirts become even less. Some of the shirts she wore are those bought a few years back, all are still in good condition but her growing form makes the shirts seem smaller and I thought it may be uncomfortable for her. The other day the daddy had already bought a few but by the frequency she changes her clothes, it’s still not enough. I decided to use the long lunch hour today to do some shopping for her clothes. I went to KLCC. I decided to have lunch first to fill my empty stomach so that I would have the extra energy to carry my feet around browsing the shops. So I sat down at the Lawn and made order, ate quickly, gulped down the drink and I was ready to shop.

There’s no apparent sale anywhere at the moment. I took a glance at Mothercare but decided not to go there. So I went to Isetan. There were only Barbie shirts on sales and I feel the shirts are rather boring since they are all pink and have the Barbie prints on the shirts. There were some other shirts which are either too expensive or too low quality. I don’t want to buy those which upon a couple of machine wash will shrink or fade in colour. I browsed and after touched here and grazed there I bought a new Ben10 shirt for Emir and some Ben10 toys. Okay this was not in the plan but I couldn’t find Fatini’s shirt yet. Anyway I know Emir would be excited to see the shirt and the toys later today. It’s so easy to pick up boy’s clothes but girls’ clothing requires state of the art creativity to select and choose. If I buy wrongly she won’t wear them. Before I left Isetan I also bought some new milk bottles and nipples I promised for Fatini last night since she complained her bottles always leak at the nipple connection. (Both my children still drink milk from the bottles). All the shops outside Isetan didn’t impress me at the moment due to unavailability of sales. So I went to Parkson not putting any high hopes of finding anything.

Pleasantly surprised I saw some suitable shirts that I think will be acceptable to my little girt. Hopefully she will like these. I chose varied colours and style, I know she would love the long sleeves also. So I picked a few here and a few there and upon being satisfied that I have picked the right ones I proceeded to pay and by that time it was after 2 pm. It was time to go but not yet since I wanted to stop at the cold storage. All and all I ended up with three shopping bags one of which was quite heavy and on top of that I decided to walk the distance back to the office. By the time I reached the comfort of my office, my feet could hardly stand anymore.

Rockabye

Last night when everybody was in bed ready to fall into slumber, Emir serenaded me to sleep in bed with one hand patting my back as in what mommies would do to babies to make them sleep. This was the song he sang over and over again with his baby accent. And he got the tune 100% correct!!! even though the pronunciation was off the track a little bit (pelat). How lovely to hear my son lullaby me ... It’s no wonder I fell asleep first before him. Where did he learn this song (maybe from the CD) but how did he know this was lullaby ?  Heavens know…..

Rock-a-bye, baby
In the treetop
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

Subject on Love

Tomorrow is Valentine… I don’t care where the word Valentine comes from and I am not going to check or ponder on it. I am just trying to find an excuse to celebrate love. Yeah, people say we can celebrate love everyday… that’s true too. We can love everyday but celebrate is another thing all together. One day to celebrate HariRaya, one day for CNY, one day for any celebration. So I am joining the others to celebrate love tomorrow. (Writing about love makes me feel in love all over again).

This makes me think how I have been taking love for granted in my daily life. Love is one of the greatest gifts from God. Without love how empty life could be for me. It makes me reflect on my children as my eyes shadowed with love for them every time I cast my eyes on them. Last night, both the kids were writing, drawing and coloring so earnestly on the books and as I was observing and admiring them, my heart swelled with love. I was thinking to myself how fast they have developed and turned out so well.

It also makes me think about love for self. Not that selfish love that prioritize oneself over everything else but love which is driven by love for others. Without me taking care of myself, how could I take care of my loved ones. I couldn’t bear to think of me being sick and become the source of worries for my little ones. I also want to look beautiful and healthy and work hard so that one day my kids can say when they are older that “my mother is a beautiful woman who worked hard for us” (not that I am really beautiful in a real sense hehehe).

Love is indeed a motivation to strive to be a better person.

I have been thinking what to do for tonight and tomorrow….Maybe I am going to wear something nice and go for dinner somewhere with the love of my life, my kids and my husband. And tomorrow I am also seeing my mother, another love of my life. I’ll buy her flowers or some simple gifts. Today and tomorrow I will reflect and recognize the individuals that form my circle of love and that’s all that I will do to celebrate love on Valentine day!

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Somebody at the office trying to take over my job!

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Just kidding! They are just my kids. Yes, I am one who brings kids to the office when situations require me to do so from time to time, like when the school/nursery is half day. I used to bring Fatini as a baby in the carrier especially if I have an appointment for her with the doctor. I am lucky that my boss and office colleagues are sort of understanding or at least already accepted the fact that I am a mother of small children and sometimes I have child care problems. However, the kids being more grown up and more active, it could be difficult to control their volume. When that happens I would take an early departure for that day. Seen above was how they will mess with my work.

Weekend

Last weekend was a 3 day weekend as everybody knows it. My family did not have a specific activity lined upfront. To go anywhere else outside the state seemed like a late arrangement already. So after having a lunch at the YO sushi at the Garden Mall, we decided to go watch a movie. Fatini upon seeing the seating arrangement asked excitedly, “Are we going to see a show?” . Yes, and the only movie suitable for the whole family was the Pink Panther 2 and after confirming that it was a comedy show we bought 3 tickets for the Premium class. Since we were unprepared to go into the cinema, expecting it was going to be cold, we went to Robinson to buy a blanket first. That was for the kids. While killing the time for the show, we bought two big cups of popcorn, one of which Emir spilled the whole cup on the floor of the foyer. Aduh…..making a ten-cent face, I asked the waiter for a broom to which the waiter said kindly, it’s okay Mam we’ll clean it up.

Upon entering the cinema, once it got dark, as usual the preview of several upcoming films were shown. Emir, being first timer since he was 1year (I think I brought him to a cinema when he was a baby before because of my desire to see , was it Mr and Mrs Smith or something) was really stunned with the fast action on the screen and the sound system. He just sat straight up with eyes fixed on the screen, unmoved. He also sat snuggled very close to me. Anyway, once the Pink Panther started both my kids dozed off and Emir only woke up once it was finished. Fatini was having such a sound sleep that she woke up the next morning.

On Monday we went to the field to play football and fly kites.

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Emir again !!

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The past three days I was engaged in lots of mental work at the office. When my work requires me to do this, normally by night time my mind will be so worn out I will have difficulties to even open my eyes come 9 pm. So this was what happened to me for the past three nights. So I just wanted to close my eyes in bed or even lying in front of the tele. My problem was I couldn’t get to do this. Emir recently is in the process of experiencing life after 3, and is having his terrible-3 episodes. He seems to be more clingy to me, more demanding and more challenging. It didn’t upset me but it worries me. Am I doing the right thing? The other day he threw his sister’s little Barbie cooking toys from a table. Since I don’t want to let him go scot-free from this kind of behaviour, I scolded him and asked him to stop doing that and put the toys back on the table. He thought it was funny and threw some more toys. One thing about Emir he seems to take everything as funny or amusing. So I gave him a hard slap on the behind. He stopped for a second, cringed on the slap and then began to smile again (testing the water) and started to defy me again by dropping more toys from the table but now more slowly, but still it’s a show of defiance to me. Well this is pushing my already stretched boundary! So I picked him up and put him in our little library, shouted at him this time I made it a little fierce (and felt very guilty about it) , and told him to stay there and don’t come out. I was scared he might climb to the window so I just put my head inside the room to check on him every minute. He seemed to be upset now and the smile disappeared from his face (finally!!!)  I checked a few times also to see whether there’s a trace of smile on his face and felt satisfied there wasn’t. At the same time I was evaluating whether I am doing it right since I felt badly for punishing him like that.  After 10 minutes or so, I let him out and he began to pick up the toys and put back on the table. So he knew what the punishment was all about …..

Last night he was on another type of behaviour. He didn’t want me to disappear from his eyes, and also didn’t want to sleep. Whenever I go to the kitchen he will cry loudly and came downstairs looking for me. And when I wanted to rest and close my eyes, he wailed over me telling me don’t close my eyes….over and over again…and I was so mentally exhausted….

Anyway after letting him wailed and cry for a while, I decided to give in and went to cuddle and lie down with him in front of the tele trying hard to keep my eyes open. And he became quiet and contented. That’s all he wanted actually, to lie close with me, cuddling him, accompanying him. 

 

  

My son

I was at home for Public Holiday yesterday. And I had my hands really full. Yes, with Emir. My charming, cheeky, naughty 3 year old son. He always said NO, NO to me. Anything I said to him, he will say NO first.

Me: “Emir… come take a shower…!” Emir: No!

Me: “Emir.., change your shirt, Emir: No!

Me: “Emir… it’s time for dinner, Emir: No!

Hardly obeyed my instructions. Had his own mind. Did his own thing. Speeding around the house either in the toy car, on the bicycle or the scooter!

Yesterday we went to a book shop and he tore a page right in front of the book shop owner while she was talking about the books to me! He also put the books on the floor and rolled on them. He ate peanuts and scattered both peanuts and shells on the carpeted flooring all over the place. My… what a headache… he just didn’t listen to me and I didn’t want to be seemed like a crazy mother in the shop. The shopkeeper kept her cool as I was placing order of books luckily the sum was big enough not warrant the owner to ask me to pay for the torn book. Also I have been a loyal customer. And for Emir I thought that’s it! Better leave now and I’m going to deal with him later. This was just one incident. There were a few happened yesterday like running away from me in the mall and kept on running fast and away, I was scared he may be snatched by some bad people. At home he played with my printer switching it on and off over and over again just to hear the cartridges moving. Not to mention fighting with the sister.

I spanked Emir before on the behind but I don’t think I get the desired effect and I don’t want to do it so often. At the same time I feel so sorry for him. I must have done something wrong somewhere.

However, feedback from school on him has been very good. He is said to be attentive in class. Then why is it with me, he seems to be on the naughtier side? I wonder whether I have been too lenient with him or too softie. He is very close to me. Always snuggled close. Always being so lovely when he’s being good. .

What stole my heart is his consistent YES to a certain question like in this case

Me: Emir, do you love mommy? Emir: Yes!

Just wanna write something

Last Friday night we came back to KL. In the morning after it was a rush because I planned to send the kids to the S&D class like always. I brought both kids but sent in Fatini first as her class started earlier and then I went to Bangsar Village with Emir for breakfast. I bought coffee and some pastries for eat in but Emir didn't want to stay there without his sister so I doggie bag everything and went back to the centre. So while I waited there, Emir went to the book room by himself and spent almost one hour there. He's really grown up now and becoming more independent. Last time he won't go anywhere without me even though it's 3 meters away. Now it's like bye , bye, mommy, see you later....
As I have told before I would spend the whole morning there on Saturday. However I found that waiting there was not a complete waste of time. I get to know more and more moms from week to week as we said hello and hi to each other. There's always useful information exchange about kids, schooling and life between us. I began to enjoy and look forward to these chats. These are moms outside my normal circle, my normal circle being my office mates and old friends known from school and previous work places. So I really found it interestings, some of them are housewives and some on the more flexible part time job. The fact they are not the same race as me make me more interested to learn about their life and them in mine.
In the afternoon we met up with my husband at Mid Valley for lunch and then off to Mothercare for kids' clothes shopping which my husband had yearned to do for days. He said the kids' clothing are so worn out and shabby already. For me as long as the kids can wear the clothes, I would still put on them. Jimat sikit. I mean they grow up so fast! I have been giving away their shirts almost every year! Sometimes I felt so sad parting with their small shirts like when they were babies and toddlers but if I keep the clothes we'll be burdened with storage space problem. Sayang, sayang....
Fatini being bigger and more vain now was so excited about her new clothes. She becoming more and more like mommy now, always choosy in what she wears. She didn't want to wear the older ones now that the new ones were there. Emir is not that interested in new clothes unless it's Ben 10!
It's Monday today and I have another day rest.

Commuting

Yesterday evening, right at 5 pm (actually 5 minutes before 5pm) I left the office to travel back to Melaka to see my children there. From Jalan Tun Razak towards south I took the smart tunnel for the very first time all the way to Sg Besi. As usual I was quite nervous to try a new route. There was like 60 and 70 km/hr speed limit and the toll is RM2. I thought it was not bad. Some cars were speeding though which made me think about Lady Diana’s accident in a tunnel in France. Scary!!! Anyway good for me the journey to Melaka was easy and I had a smooth ride all the way with an exception of a minor jam due to an accident on the opposite side of the highway. Like normal, one side accident, the other side will also be affected due to keen spectators. There were rains as well but affecting only certain stretches of the highway.

I reached my mom’s house before 7 pm, and I saw my kids playing outside with my mom observing them. Emir saw me and immediately grinned from ear to ear and ran to hug me. His first words just before he hugged me were “where’s papa?” since my husband stayed back in KL to sort out some personal business. Emir hugged me so many times like he missed me so much. He is so expressive and open with his happiness and emotions. Fatini who was more reserved kept a somber face upon seeing me I guess between relief and unsure emotions. Kesian my kids… This is the first time I left them at the kampong while I go to work. They did not know what to expect even though they are being taken care by the child care center practically since there were born, the deviations from routine event may have caused some anxiety especially in Emir who still cannot understand. The report given to me is that “when the mommy is not around they turned into well behaved kids and very easy to manage and care for”. My mom and niece who were looking after them were expecting a hectic day with the kids but it turned out so fine.

I had a home cooked dinner prepared by mom last night. How I wish it could be like this every night. Coming home, well cooked dinner ready, and nothing else but relax until bed time. Heavenly!!

This morning I left the house at 6.15 am approx while my children were still sleeping. The morning journey was so nice and spiritual. Calm, cool, dark and very2 quiet. I didn’t switch on the radio as not to spoil the calming experience. I reached KL quite early. Anyway as I drove nearing the office building on Jalan Tun Razak I heard loud angry voices which attracted my attention. When I turned to see, it was a motorcyclist screaming and scolding angrily while pointing fingers at another motorcyclist. They are riding quite close to each other. The guy looked really angry. Luckily the one being screamed at kept quite (at least as seen from the back). I was wondering what tipped the motorcyclist to become so angry. I am glad I am not the receiving end of the early morning wrath to start the day. I arrived at the office safe and sound and early and as usual started the day with a mug of hot brewed office coffee.