Commuting

Yesterday evening, right at 5 pm (actually 5 minutes before 5pm) I left the office to travel back to Melaka to see my children there. From Jalan Tun Razak towards south I took the smart tunnel for the very first time all the way to Sg Besi. As usual I was quite nervous to try a new route. There was like 60 and 70 km/hr speed limit and the toll is RM2. I thought it was not bad. Some cars were speeding though which made me think about Lady Diana’s accident in a tunnel in France. Scary!!! Anyway good for me the journey to Melaka was easy and I had a smooth ride all the way with an exception of a minor jam due to an accident on the opposite side of the highway. Like normal, one side accident, the other side will also be affected due to keen spectators. There were rains as well but affecting only certain stretches of the highway.

I reached my mom’s house before 7 pm, and I saw my kids playing outside with my mom observing them. Emir saw me and immediately grinned from ear to ear and ran to hug me. His first words just before he hugged me were “where’s papa?” since my husband stayed back in KL to sort out some personal business. Emir hugged me so many times like he missed me so much. He is so expressive and open with his happiness and emotions. Fatini who was more reserved kept a somber face upon seeing me I guess between relief and unsure emotions. Kesian my kids… This is the first time I left them at the kampong while I go to work. They did not know what to expect even though they are being taken care by the child care center practically since there were born, the deviations from routine event may have caused some anxiety especially in Emir who still cannot understand. The report given to me is that “when the mommy is not around they turned into well behaved kids and very easy to manage and care for”. My mom and niece who were looking after them were expecting a hectic day with the kids but it turned out so fine.

I had a home cooked dinner prepared by mom last night. How I wish it could be like this every night. Coming home, well cooked dinner ready, and nothing else but relax until bed time. Heavenly!!

This morning I left the house at 6.15 am approx while my children were still sleeping. The morning journey was so nice and spiritual. Calm, cool, dark and very2 quiet. I didn’t switch on the radio as not to spoil the calming experience. I reached KL quite early. Anyway as I drove nearing the office building on Jalan Tun Razak I heard loud angry voices which attracted my attention. When I turned to see, it was a motorcyclist screaming and scolding angrily while pointing fingers at another motorcyclist. They are riding quite close to each other. The guy looked really angry. Luckily the one being screamed at kept quite (at least as seen from the back). I was wondering what tipped the motorcyclist to become so angry. I am glad I am not the receiving end of the early morning wrath to start the day. I arrived at the office safe and sound and early and as usual started the day with a mug of hot brewed office coffee.

Horse ride and kite flying

Last weekend I went back to Melaka to spend the long weekend there. Actually it’s a dual purpose. To spend the long weekend and also come Wednesday when my husband and I were to come back to work in KL we are leaving the kids in Melaka. The child care is closed for a week as it is Chinese New Year. We decided that I will commute from Melaka to KL this week on daily basis. Considering it is a national school holiday week and CNY week, the traffic will be much lightened in Kuala Lumpur, so I decided that it would not be so bad. It’s true enough. This morning I started leaving my mom’s house about 6.15 am and arrived KL before 7.30. After sending my husband to his office, I managed to arrive my office by 8 am.

I have a bad habit when I am at mom’s house. I am so hardworking at my own home, always moving, organizing and doing something but the minute I arrived at the kampong, I am a changed person. First I will feel sleepy and drowsy or better explained by “lazy” all the time. Secondly I’ll feel hungry all the time and will always looking for food. Well, this is not the really me. I am a different person in between my mom’s house and my own home. I wonder why??? Is it anything to do with childhood???

We brought the kids to the zoo melaka on Monday. My…, there’s so many people…, it’s like we have to take turns to see the animals. Really, it’s so packed! Fatini and Emir had a good time as usual, Emir was excited to see the animals. The Zoo is well maintained, the windy day made it a nice time for outing in the place. But the train was not free like in Zoo Negara, we didn’t buy the ticket so we didn’t take the ride. However the entrance was so cheap, RM7 for adults and free for children below 5 yo. And there were discounts for school children too.

Fatini and Emir took a horse ride for the very first time. They enjoyed it and the ride (one round) is cheap at RM2 per person. All I can say Melaka Zoo is really children friendly (promote my own state, but really it’s true).

The next day we went to Pantai Klebang expecting to see the beach since we had not been there for ages since Fatini was small. To our surprise, the beach has disappeared. The place is under land reclamation. It is on going project but the water has disappeared. It’s such a shame. Anyway there are still lots of people going there but doing another activity i.e. kites flying. There were so many kites in the sky. Fatini took the first attempt at kite flying and it was successful.

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First coming doctor in family

My niece called a couple of days ago excitedly told me she got an offer from Hobart Medical School, University of Tasmania, Australia. I am happy for her and so the rest of family because she so much wanted to go there. I hope she will study hard, smart and long hours, and willing to make sacrifices to achieve her ambitions and never forget what kampong she comes from. Well, I am in fact the first penjamin of her study loan and I think it’s going to be millions!!!!!

She will fly this middle of February and I hope she is matured enough to face life in another country and another culture.

This makes me remembering the times I arrived in London for my study ages ago (that long aah and still remember), wide eyed and so, so ignorant and slow. After being surrounded by lots of close friends and families at home, all of a sudden I was deserted in a foreign country, far away and cold, isolated, lonely and weather as gloomy and dark. It was so depressing for me. And I remembered the first couple of days in London in the midst of my confusion I lost my wallet and money at the tube station. Imagine that! Luckily I had travellers cheques in my baggage. At that time, credit cards were never heard by me. Well, those were the days.

Faizah, study hard, remember Wan and Atuk who brought you up, your parents’ sacrifice, and all your families.

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Bye Bye Car

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Why am I showing these pictures…. you may be asking??? Actually this is to commemorate the farewell to my husband’s car. Yes, last Saturday the car was handed over to a new owner. Me, being emotional, feel a bit sad to say goodbye and wanted to take pictures. Actually the car had been used exclusively by hubby on daily basis such as for going to work and went out alone. Me and the kids hardly took rides in this car all these while. We have been using the NAZA RIA as the weekend car and “balik kampong” car because it’s more spacious for the kids. And on weekdays, we have been using my car because it is smaller.

The funny thing is Fatini was ever missing Daddy’s car after that since it no longer parked in front of our house. She kept on asking me what happened to the car to which I explained. She said now we are only left with 2 cars (like having 3 cars is normal and having 2 is not!) By the way the NAZA is also for sale. Anybody interested????

 

Money does the talk, let's take the walk

With the economy being on a slowdown and not showing its happy face, I felt compelled to join the forces to reduce spending. Some people said we should increase spending to boost the economy but I think no matter what I have to reduce my personal expenditure. I am saying this after spending a couple of hundreds buying necessities ,,,errrr, hmmm, clothes, at KLCC this afternoon. Well, my awareness is there so at least I am heading towards the right direction (excuses!). Well, I am planning to save more money this year. Wah…, writing this makes me feel so good already.

For those who haven’t known yet (I just found out myself) the ASB dividend announced for last year saving is 8% plus 1% and Tabung Haji is 7%. I think that’s really wonderful. I am so happy. On the other side who ever have invested in other public trust funds (like me) we have to exercise patience for the returns as the price just go nowhere but down and down. I don’t even look at the price anymore to avoid unhappiness. Just revel in the ASB, TJ or other PNB’s funds.

My efforts to save money have started slowly. My first effort was not such a big effort it seemed as I have been offered a gold visa credit card with no fees charged at all, i.e. no annual fees and in fact it gives me 0.5% rebate on retail purchases (is this to promote more spending…? I guess so but I will try not to be so easily taken in). This will replace my existing visa credit card.

Secondly every time I get my salary, I will try to remember to run to the bank first to save a portion. Just put that $xxxx into the bank and forget it. This is most important. Normally people will save whatever is leftover at the end of the month. For me, if I do that I would not have any left to put away.

Most look forward to is to reduce or maintain body weight so that not only I will be happy with the way I would look ( ye ke?) but I won’t also have any excuses to buy the more comfortable clothes just because my expanding waistline cannot fit in the existing attires I have in my current wardrobe.

Notwithstanding all the above I will not cut back certain expenses like my children’s education and development budget and maybe once a year family’s vacation.

Let’s see how much I can save this year… for me to see only lah.  As people say, money makes more money and this is the easiest method huh???

rambling of the mind

This week I have been busy, busy with work at the office and also busy with couple of other things which are totally not norms to me. I have been summoned by the Jabatan Buruh because the agency of my runaway maid wanted her remaining salaries to be paid in full. I called the Jabatan Buruh officer in charge and he said " this is the attitude of these foreign workers who ran away from employers and then come here to claim money". Well, the officer had seen lots of cases I guess. I don’t mind paying the salaries to be truthful and it’s better with a legal officer as witness rather than fulfilling this agency’s arrogant demands on behalf of the maid. Yes, they are still keeping the maid since the maid ran away from my house early October last year and the agency is working really hard to get the money outstanding from me. I think they think they own the maid or something or maybe just doing welfare work for the runaway maid out of humanitarian reason. I really wonder who paid for the maid subsistence for the past three or so months and how is this viewed from legal standpoint keeping the maid in their agency for whatever reason as I have cancelled her permit last October. It’s really amazing when the maid can stay in our home, working or not working, with salaries, and when they run away irresponsibly, fabricating excuses for their action, they are still eligible to request payment in full. Malaysians shouldn’t mind being a maid then with such easy attitude. I am going to pay the salaries and be done with it. My justification is she worked and so she will get paid. The agency is another thing altogether.

I am also due to attend the consumer tribunal as I have made a complaint against the maid agency for their unethical behaviour and later found out that the tribunal didn’t handle fraud or unethical behaviour and just handle the claim of monies for unsatisfactory service. This is really disheartening as it seems there's no place to put an honest complain or concern about these agencies. They are just turning into mafias uncontrolled. I mean I would feel so sorry for the next person who will get this maid or who will use this agency. This last maid was really a nightmare and I don’t think I will take another ungrateful Indonesian maid into my home ever again or ever deal with a Malay maid agency again. (Sigh….) what a waste of time….

My Saturday morning

On last Saturday morning the kids started on this year Term 1 of the Speech & Drama class after completing Term 4 of last year. This class is actually called Edudrama, most people think I sent my children to learn to become actors but no so. I’m not that ambitious!! This is nothing about acting to become actors. The classes are filled with educational programmes and also children are let to express themselves through their speech and action. They do some learning, play acting, reciting poems, speech etc which help in their language development as well as building up their confidence. Most of all the children learn via exciting play and they have enjoyed the class last year.

Both my kids were very excited to know they were resuming the class. Actually the schedule has slightly changed. Last year both of them were during the same hour but within different classes. This year Fatini’s class starts early at 9.30 am and Emir’s at 11.30 am. I managed to get the message through to Fatini but how could I explain it to young Emir. So I had to bring them together to the center at 9 am (Emir refused to be left at home so that Daddy can send him later). At the center Emir couldn’t wait to go to his class and was already waiting outside his old classroom. Fatini went into her classroom and I could tell that she didn’t expect new teacher and more new friends in the class. Emir didn’t understand why his class didn’t start. I managed to take him out as I decided to go for breakfast first while waiting for Fatini’s class to finish and Emir’s class to start.

So I went to Bangsar village and looking for a place to have coffee and breakfast. I didn’t want to wander since it’s too early and most shops had not opened. So I settled for the nearest coffee shop which had the most customers and had coffee for myself and bought sandwich for Emir.

After an hour I returned to the center. Emir straight away went to his old studio room and was waiting and waiting by the door which didn’t open. So finally when his class was to start, I brought him to his new class. Last year Emir was on accompanied program where I joined the class as well. But this year there’s no more accompanied program for him as he is already big enough. But he didn’t know that and was expecting me to be with him in the class. I brought him into the class but then sneaked out, and a couple of minutes later he came out to look for me and pulled my hand back in to join him. This happened twice. Finally the teacher closed the door and it was time for parents to leave the children. I sneaked out and stayed outside. I could hear him cried for me for the first 15 minutes and he was sitting near the door. Luckily when I peeked at him later, I saw that he was participating and seemed to be enjoying the class.

While waiting for his class to finish I sat down with the other parents whom I know from Emir’s class last year. Since all of us have children of the same age, we talked excitedly about children and so on.

When Emir finally came out of his class, he was looking terribly happy with himself. Well, this is the story of my Saturday morning from 9 am to 1 pm and it will be like this for the whole year.

Visit to dear old friend

This afternoon I went to give a visit to my old friend at her home. She was my neighbour when I was living single and she lived one floor down with her husband and daughter. I got to know her for the first time when she and husband knocked on my door one evening because they heard loud noises which actually didn’t come from my apartment.

Since then she and her family had been kind to me, always checking on me (I was hardly home due to work at that time) and she used to send me nice home cooked food whenever I was around. Sometimes a complete big tray of various dishes was delivered to me. What touched me about her was that when I was single and still damn hot (exaggerating and perasan…) not many wives would introduce themselves and their husbands and befriend me, maybe afraid I would be flirting with their husbands but she seemed to overlook that. Instead both husband and wife had been nice and never once treated me unkindly or biasly. So when people who crossed my path and was so nice, overlooking suspicions that other women may have on me, I was touched and remembered that kindness forever.

I wanted to visit her and hadn’t been able to do so for quite some time. On the other hand she had been to my house the couple of times I invited her and family when there’s occasions.

Recently I got to know that she had just gone through an operation but had complication and is now suffering from another malady which occurred as a result of her treatment. And the doctor has not fixed the new problem. So yesterday I gave her a call to tell her I was coming today to visit her.

I got lost on the way there today, I thought I could remember all the bends and turns but somehow I got lost and luckily I managed to find somebody to point me the direction and finally arrived there in one piece.

At her home she was happy to receive me and I could see she was touched by my visit. We had a chat about her condition. Her daughter babbled excitedly to me non-stop.

We also had happy discussion about our children. She served me lunch ( I knew beforehand she would anyway so I came with empty tummy) and I ate unashamedly a lot (as usually the case when somebody else is cooking). After two and half hour there I had to sadly say goodbye as it was time for me to go back to work. I hope I would be able to visit her again.

How could I forget..?

Yesterday just before noon, in the middle of a meeting with my boss, all of a sudden my mind wandered to my kids, “Did I take Fatini out from the car this morning at the school where I was supposed to drop my sleeping kids off…?” Suddenly my mind went blank and I couldn’t remember.

I did remember taking Emir out of the car and passed him on to the child worker but for God sake I couldn’t remember taking Fatini out.

My mind began to work hard trying to remember stepping back to the morning event minute by minute.

I began to get nervous and edgy but my boss was still talking to me unaware of my predicament.

Did I check my backseats before I left the car in the basement parking? No. It had been almost 4hours ago.

My…, why can’t I remember dropping her off??? What’s wrong with me??. I was going panic and started to think what if I left my daughter alone, sleeping in the car and not noticing it? God forbids!

Luckily the meeting ended then. Immediately I got hold of my handphone and called the school. I asked for Fatini. Yes, Fatini was at school. What a relief….

See how my mind is getting older… I need to do things more slowly now to match my absent mindedness….

Pictures for fun

Women who love

This week I have been indoors most of the time. You know just sat down with my kids playing and snuggling with each other. I also tried to spend more time doing what i most wanted to do if I had more time which was organizing the house and the little2 things. So I can say i have been busy.
Anyway, however contented life seemingly is , once in a while I can't run from feeling frustrated and unappreciated. Well it's just a fleeting feeling sometimes maybe unsupported by any facts or figures. Nevertheless this feeling does come and go from time to time. So it makes me think and think. I do need some time to do things by myself. I need to just spend time on me. To take care of me. Otherwise who would?
I went to the cafe alone this afternoon and sat by myself eating and having coffee for a couple of hours and day dreaming, actually thinking. Thinking about me, how to improve myself, how to take care of myself so that i can take care of my love ones. Thinking about me as a person, who I think I am and how do others perceive me as and admitting that these views are sometimes not parallel or in agreement with each other. Some people are easy and some people are more difficult to me.
One thing I understand is I must make time to take care of myself as it has been one of the most neglected part of my life. (Writing this alone has made me feel like I am selfish...)
Just to highlight that there was in the news last year about a mother of six, a housewife who killed her own toddler. Well, this is certainly a more extreme example albeit a real life example! I could sympathize with her, I don't think she's evil. I thought she was most stressed and depressed and maybe acted deliriously. And she obviously has been neglecting herself to her own peril. Her life after the incident is not known to me but it kept me wondered about the fate of the rest of her children. Her real life story left some hard impact on me until now! My view is to take life in a more optimistic term and take care of myself and my health.

So the year ended ....

There it goes... the 2008 is gone forever and I felt both sad and joy. Sad that time flew so fast and I am getting older ... and yes, joys to know that my children are growing up another year promising me with more excitement to look forward to.
I don't know whether I have achieved anything significant in 2008 but I am glad i have gone through it and I am sure i have learned a lesson or two. I have been surrounded by families and friends all these while and I am ever so grateful for the love and friendship.
I haven't made any plans for the new year ahead. I will certainly want to enjoy life more and worry less. Make my life useful to others, and understanding my children more. Be more dedicated towards my soul. In fact there is so much I want to improve and do that writing them down will be an endless task. Suffice to say that I hope to be a better me and a healthier me so that I can dedicate myself to my families and help others.
I have never been too aware of passing years until recently that I am reaching the ripe age (my age lah, whatever the figure is ;-). I thank God for everything that he has granted on me and I beg his forgiveness for all my negligence, my impatience and my seemingly ungrateful grunts and grumbles. I pray for my family health and happiness as well as for my parents' and siblings'.
School is starting next week and I will also be back to work. I will resume the hectic professional life during weekdays and will surrender myself to the loving demand of motherhood on weeknights and weekends, only that this year I will plan to do it better.
Happy New Year everybody especially to my loving husband and my lovely children.