When I was at home during the weekend, something really triggered me happy happened. My father who had been ailed for almost 2 years, had never spoken properly to me since he was bed ridde . He had been in pain due to surgery to remove some of his body parts which had not had blood circulation due to his diabetic condition. We didn’t really realize how bad it was getting to due to our bad knowledge on his health and on the diabetes itself. The treatment of the surgery wound was also difficult due to his diabetes.
He was already weak and aged and he had to stay in bed to recover. This basically made it worse for him as his movement was limited and that finally made him bed ridden as his muscle wasted away and due to reduced blood circulation. This is what I think. Before that he also had a couple of operations on his kidneys and then latest twice on the body parts.
So last weekend, maybe because he was not in so much pain anymore or he began to accept his condition, all of a sudden he called me …” XXXX, please scratch my leg, it’s so itchy…” . God I was so happy to hear that and spent a few minutes scratching him.
He also asked me “ anak kau mana…? Bapaknya mana…?” He also scolded Emir for making so much noise playing and when I wanted to go back to KL and told him so, he said “ Pungut barang2 habis2 , jangan tinggal…”
Actually I have been feeling very guilty about him. I was wondering whether he was angry at me before. You know sometimes I am too outspoken. I did say a lot of things that hurt his feelings especially during some trial times. And I felt guilty not attending to his weakening condition before it got out of control because of my lack of knowledge on his desease and maybe because I didn’t pay too much attention to him. He was a quiet man who rarely complaint and I took him for granted. I really wondered whether he was angry at me.
