This morning I woke up to the ringing of the alarm clock, really wanted to continue sleeping but knowing better than that. I somehow lost my voice today since having a slight cough yesterday. It is really no fun talking today and when I do not have the wish to talk, somehow, there’s lot of things crop up, discussions etc and I just had to talk with this hoarse voice sounding very foolish indeed. However every now and then, it sounded like a romantic sexy voice though or I’m just trying to kid myself or dreaming perhaps in order to feel better about it.
This week it was a shopping season in KL and working in KL in a place that is within walking distance to the big shopping center, what else I could do but shopped. Truthfully said I found it to be a wonderful, wonderful experience to do this, it’s quite therapeutic in nature to be able to possess something new by just exchanging it with signatures on the credit card slips. It soothes my soul and makes myself feel good looking at the inventory of materials bought and it did not take a huge effort to just ignore the damages.
I can be compulsive to the extent of bankrupting myself but once I have done it to the extreme I will stop doing it for ages to come. It’s like when I have the urge to eat chocolate and I would buy the biggest box I could find of an expensive succulent chocolates that warmed my heart and soul as I devoured them and I would not stop until the whole box was vacant. But once it’s finished and I was fully satisfied, I wouldl remain so for the next couple of years and would not even look at the chocolate with any interest again. Until such time comes, when the desire returned but then the whole consumed calories have been wasted away.
There have been changes at the office as well and some are leaving to the greener side of the pasture. So there have been farewells at the office as well as after office hours. I don’t really like the after office affair except I felt compelled to celebrate for those who I have worked closely. Like yesterday, I went to spend some time with friends for a farewell of a colleague. I was there but my mind was in the state of hovering over the feeling of guilt for leaving the children behind and the need to have times for myself occasionally. However I found that I couldn’t wait to get home and once I reached home I was received by a beaming Emir who ran downstairs to greet me and acted so happily like he hasn’t seen me in months. My heart was filled with warmth of having seen him, gathered him in my arms and showered him with kisses as I carried him upstairs. I also acted as if I haven’t met him in months. Fatini was sleeping though. As I watched my kids I felt like I do not want to leave them for any length of time ever again.
