Yes my love hate relationship. Not with anyone but with food. I love eating, who wouldn't. I eat when I am happy, and I eat when I am sad. I eat when I'm bored and I eat when there's a party. But the problem is I have put on a couple of kilos recently. My slow metabolism didn't help also. This was due to lots of cakes and other sweet delicacies and fast food I have had recently. I love cakes, butter and cream. That's a fact! These have always been my favourite food. I have tried to minimize buying them. However recently I have started again. This is not directly my fault though. It's because my children have started to venture into more variety of food and this includes the sweet delicacies, cakes and unhealthy fast foods. So we bought and bought but they were only tasting. So what a waste if I don’t finish them up. So I did. But the exercise part remains nil. And the pounds add up. That’s me.
At the same time Fatini has started to try out hot food even though only mildly hot. Previously there’s no way she’s going to eat anything hot. Even a taste of white pepper would set her wailing. Last Saturday she tried my noodle while I ate at the café. Not the hot soup but only the noodle. Both Emir and her did. They ate the noodle and drink iced fresh orange alternately to kill the hot taste. On Sunday Fatini tried the dhal while eating roti canai. I praised her over that. I told her that in this country if she cannot take hot food, she won’t be able to eat at all. So she must learn. The reason I said that was because I have had many problem with the local restaurants inside and outside KL. Even when I ordered some food and stressed very clearly that there should be NO chillies, NO pepper, NO hot, for young children food, we found that the food served was still hot, still have chilly inside sometimes even complete with the piercing hot bird eye chilly. A few times we have asked to change the food because we ordered with no chilly and yet it came back the same only an hour or so later. It had been very frustrating. Ended up many times that I ate the food and my children were still hungry. At home I still didn’t put chilly in my cooking but I have added more ginger, garlic and onions either in the marinate sauce or soup.
Back to my weight, I have started to feel an inkling of guilt over the eating. I can’t seem to find the balance between energy input and output. The input is always in excess. My appetite is hard to dampen.
I am also not into dieting anymore, since dieting makes me pale faced, gaunt, ill and dizzy. And to make it worse after the suffering I had to endure the weight hardly come down, well maybe a little down and a few weeks after, it will start to top the previous weight. I know only exercise can help me beat this but really I just haven’t got the motivation and when I have that much needed motivation I don’t have the time. I left my house when it was still dark and returned when it was already dust. My only exercise was perhaps the walk I take to the mall during lunch hour everyday except when it rained. I am still wearing the same size clothes but I have noticed they are starting to fill out. So far so good but I really have to start think of something now!
