This week I have been indoors most of the time. You know just sat down with my kids playing and snuggling with each other. I also tried to spend more time doing what i most wanted to do if I had more time which was organizing the house and the little2 things. So I can say i have been busy.
Anyway, however contented life seemingly is , once in a while I can't run from feeling frustrated and unappreciated. Well it's just a fleeting feeling sometimes maybe unsupported by any facts or figures. Nevertheless this feeling does come and go from time to time. So it makes me think and think. I do need some time to do things by myself. I need to just spend time on me. To take care of me. Otherwise who would?
I went to the cafe alone this afternoon and sat by myself eating and having coffee for a couple of hours and day dreaming, actually thinking. Thinking about me, how to improve myself, how to take care of myself so that i can take care of my love ones. Thinking about me as a person, who I think I am and how do others perceive me as and admitting that these views are sometimes not parallel or in agreement with each other. Some people are easy and some people are more difficult to me.
One thing I understand is I must make time to take care of myself as it has been one of the most neglected part of my life. (Writing this alone has made me feel like I am selfish...)
Just to highlight that there was in the news last year about a mother of six, a housewife who killed her own toddler. Well, this is certainly a more extreme example albeit a real life example! I could sympathize with her, I don't think she's evil. I thought she was most stressed and depressed and maybe acted deliriously. And she obviously has been neglecting herself to her own peril. Her life after the incident is not known to me but it kept me wondered about the fate of the rest of her children. Her real life story left some hard impact on me until now! My view is to take life in a more optimistic term and take care of myself and my health.
