I have not been writing a long time, blame it on no time, no mood , no story to tell, or whatever…. Anyway, I certainly want to continue telling about my kids if not anything else that’s more exciting …. Emir who turned 4 last December has made an absolutely brilliant progress in reading and truth be told, it surprised me, but I was extremely thrilled by it. Why, he didn’t even want tor read last year, except listening to story read by me. But when I tried to teach him he had refused and shied away from it. Which had triggered sparks of concern from me, which is obviously unwarranted. All of a sudden this year, he showed a lot of interest and ta da…! he reads already… simple words but I think he is a lot advanced than expected….and he reads almost every night! What a joy!

Fatini, is turning 6 in two weeks time, and is an absolute darling to her teachers at school. She reads very well and that has started to include thicker informative materials. She’s obedient at school but at home , it’s another story altogether. Don’t ask me but she has a natural talent to drive me insane. What to say… that’s how the children behave when the mummy is around, more carefree with their feelings and I guess they will always try to test their boundaries within the safe surrounding.

This year Fatini will be spending her last year of kindergarten and gosh it’s already April. With her birthday coming so soon, I am planning her birthday to be celebrated at home so that she could bring her friends to our home. And this is a major headache for me right now. It is always more messy to do it at home and I’m running out of time and has progressed absolutely zero as of now. I am a bit confused with organizers and I don’t know how reliable they are. I just hope that finally everything will be going smoothly. I certainly have lots of work to do.

We had a young guest last weekend. It was Fatini’s best friend, Suzu, a Japanese girl. She’s leaving Malaysia soon, to go back to her home country Japan after some years living here. Since they were so close and had spent so much time together all this while, I decided to ask the Mom if she could let Suzu spend a night at our place.

On that afternoon, we had arranged for a small get together at another mom's place, the kids were looking forward to it so much that Fatini had been nagging about "when are we going there" since the morning. They had a swim in the pool amongst themselves. The kids really loved to spend time together. Come evening, we brought Suzu home for overnight. Fatini was so elated to have her at home.

We hope Suzu had a great time at our home.

Another meet with school friends at one's home. It was such a thrill and what can I say... it was dark by the time we decided to part. I realized that no matter how long I have separated from them, when we met, time seemed to freeze, we were back to school days, except that we are more matured now in our thinking and things that we talked about were also different. However, all in all, I can say that my friends really haven't changed!

We had a high school reunion a couple of weeks ago. It was in Seremban but those in KL took the time to drive all the way there. This was the first after we left Form 5 so I was so nervous to go, to meet back everybody after a long time of separation. It turned out that I was not the only one feeling this way. These were the people I grew up with for 5 years. Since my school was co-ed, there were what used to be the boys too, now all grown men. Those that were so naughty turned out well after all, holding important positions in various organizations.

Well, in high school, there were those that I was closed too and those friends who were not so closed but friends nevertheless. So meeting the classmates and the best friends were the event for me that I really looked forward to.

It turned out to be a lot of fun. About 51 of us turned up which is slightly less than half. We had a fantastic time, mostly talking and joking around, ignoring the foods. Took some pictures and a couple of people were nice enough to prepare goody bags to distribute to all.

Lots of us have changed in appearance, especially the men, with all the bellies and all. The women mostly maintained even though some has grown in size widthwise, including me hahaha.

A few of have 6 to7 children, wow, married as young as 19! Some only have one child. Some of the women were professionals like doctors, lecturers and some were housewives. We have amongst us who married each other too!

I don’t know when we’ll meet again the whole lot. I was happy to meet them and hope we will continue to meet agaqin.

We didn’t go anywhere this 4 day weekend. Decided just to stay at home and did some cleaning up, rearranging and hanging things. But most importantly to me, this weekend marked a major milestone progress for my kids. Fatini has started to sleep in a separate room. This was solely her initiative. That's what she wanted and Me half heartedly between being happy and difficulty to let go, relented to the wish.

We made up one of the rooms so that it tallies with her taste. Just as quickly, she started to move her photos (and Emir’s), favourites toys and books to the racks in the room. Now she and Emir started to spend more time in the room. She wanted a room for herself separate from Emir, but Emir wanted to share her room. I managed to talked her into the room sharing idea though.

Then come night time she wanted to sleep there. Considering she had sharing my bed all these times, this was a major step for her and it was quite admirable. She had been very brave and courageous to make such a big move. It just happened so naturally. All she asked was not to switch off the light as she said she was scared of the dark.

I thought well , she would sleep throughout the night anyway. Well, she did actually wake up some time in the early hours looking for me asking to send her to the bathroom and then back to her new bed.

Also looks like Emir is following suit soon as this morning he claimed he slept by himself last night! Actually he moved to his sister bed early this morning.

The ones more anxious about the change are actually me and hubby. We kept on putting our heads into the room from time to time to check on her while she’s sleeping. Well, occasionally lying down next to her as well. I thought I would be sleeping with them until they are twelve! It seems not so.

It have been two nights already. I guess that’s it, the slow return of my privacy but the start of my children’s independence.

Sunny morning

This morning the kids were having such good time in the car on the way to school. The road was jammed, due to the bright early morning sun, however the highly good spirit in the car lightened me up. The kids were joking, laughing and playing together, mind you, without the usual cropping argument or fighting.

Emir who always have a jovial temperament was really laughing at whatever the sister was saying or doing which obviously had the intent to tickle her brother's humor. This does not always happen, I mean, most times, good talks and laughs always interspersed with fighting between the two siblings.

I pray in my heart that the kids will have a good relationship between them throughout their life. That they be for each other despite having their own family later.

Today I went to the Toys’rus to find a toy. A toy bus actually. Since my kids have been fighting over the one toy bus at home. The one we have at home has been there for years. There’s never been any interest shown before. All of a sudden, recently, both of them think the bus is very interesting. They’ve been fighting over that one bus since a few days ago. Fatini brought it into the car this morning. Emir saw it and wanted it and had been asking for it from the sister, who said No! of course and this made him wanted it more. The fight continued in the car this morning. Which made me promise them that I will get another one today.

But I didn’t find exactly the same one. So I bought another smaller boring version, hopefully they will accept it. And another very small aeroplane, a cheap one too. So that at least each one will have a new toy today. And give me some peace of mind tonight. I didn’t want to spend too much on toys since they just got their daddy to buy some expensive ones last weekend.

We all woke up early this morning. The kids watched TV before gotten ready. I don’t know what to do but I noticed that my kids especially Emir are so into watching TV. I control which channel to watch though. There will be some day when I will lay down rules for TV time.

Tomorrow is another day working before the long weekend. I’m so looking forward to it. I got some activites line up for the children on Saturday morning.

So far so good

This week I feel a bit under the weather. It’s the flu, I got it and Emir got it. It started with him having the stuffy nose. With him sleeping so close to me , night after night, it’s always been the case, whatever bug he gets, I will eventually get it too.

My head had been aching on one side too since the past few days. I really hope it’s nothing, wishing as I always do despite the worries. I really don’t want to make that trip to the hospital to check my condition. I hate spending my precious time waiting for my turn. And I hate the nervousness when waiting for the medical result. It’s worse than the feeling I felt waiting for my exam results to come out.

My first two weeks of the year has started slowly and surely. My kids are back to their normal routine except that they were proud that they were upgraded to the next level of class. Both of them are excited about growing up and couldn’t wait to be “ mummy and daddy” and me and hubby become “ grandma and grandpa” as they put it.

Saturday morning is as busy as usual with the kids drama classes, only now Fatini has another class to attend which is the hip hop dancing. For me, okay…. The kids can join any class with the condition it doesn’t inconvenient me too much in terms of timing and that the kids love the classes. They can stop any time. Saturday afternoon and the whole Sunday is reserved for family time and swimming.

And me, I am back to work. The work is okay but the travelling in the morning and evening really kills me. It’s more tiring and more stressful to sit in the driver seats for hours than doing actual work at the office. I tried to leave the office earlier to beat the traffic before it starts to jam up.

This year and thereafter, I want to take things more easily, do things more slowly. I want to enjoy life more. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Plan more and achieve more with less effort off course. Most of all I want to bond beautifully with my children, so that they grow up happily.

and where is Heaven

My niece came back for holiday from Australia and she brought souvenirs for me, a marvelous Revlon lipsticks set, exactly my colours, and for each of my children she bought a pair of crocs. My kids immediately loved them. Pinks one for Fatini and orange colour for Emir. In fact when we went to Hong Kong, they persisted to take the crocs along. In fact my niece bought something for almost everybody within her extended family circle.

Off course I felt happy and touched. Faizah to me is like my little sister or like my own daughter. I don’t have kids who are big enough to buy me presents especially when they come back from somewhere. She’s the first one amongst her generation who ever brought me presents. I was touched and I was happy. She had used her own money for all the souvenirs ( I actually asked !). I remembered she started to buy me something when she was in the secondary school.

I used to tease her when she was in primary school, every time she went for her school trip, and brought her grandmother some souvenirs, I always asked her, “where’s my souvenir, Faizah?” as she never bought for me any thing during that time. Her answer was always, “I don’t have enough money..” and she would explain to me, cent by cent on what she had spent. Those were old memories. As a child, she never indulged in wasting money. In fact, she always asked me to buy things she need, and even though I did buy them sometimes,, I also said to her, ask your father, she will reply, but I feel so sorry for ayah….Even though at that time I thought, “bertuah punya budak!!”, at the same time I was happy that as a daughter she had that feeling of affection and compassion for her father.

It is a peace of mind to see children who I used to see as little children grow up and become good individuals who respect parents and the elderlies no matter what. It saddens me to hear news of abandoned parents who were left to their own device by the children that they raised with their sweat and love. It saddens me to see how children when they grow up talked to parents as if the parents owe them something, with no respect and no fear about hurting the parents’ feeling. They treat the parents as if the parents are the ones who need them and they don’t need their parents. It’s even worse when the children still take money from the parents.

No matter how wrong your parents are in your perception, which could be wrong anyway, as long as they never abused you sexually, they are still your parents, deserving respect and good manners from you, always. Heaven is under the parents’ feet indeed!

Little problem

I had no problems so far when dropping the children at school but this morning, Emir, upon waking up in the car refused to go to school and his excuse was he wanted to follow mummy. He didn’t want to get off from the car at the school. He seemed really adamant not to come down from the car.

I hated to lie to my children. I feel guilty when i did it but I didn’t want to physically force him. So I told him that I needed to see his teacher to inform her that he’s not going to school and I asked him to come with me. Being smart, he asked me to go by myself and leave him in the car to wait. I made excuses about not leaving children alone in the car. He didn’t budge. I told him, "Papa said to me, I cannot leave the children alone in the car. It’s too dangerous!" He pondered a while maybe thinking that’s his daddy's instruction, maybe he thinks I was right after all, he finally obeyed and came with me.

In the school, he hanged on to me, refusing to let me go.

To say he was not happy at the school may not be correct because it was only yesterday that he didn’t want to come home from school when I asked him to leave. Every evening I waited half an hour to get my children ready to leave for home.

Nevertheless Emir’s behaviour this morning worried me. Because it was not normal for him. He was really crying when the teacher restrained him from following me back to the car. He was never that difficult to be left before. Was he sick? Was he missing me after spending days and nights continuously with me during the holiday? Was he tired? Was he having a bad time in school? All kind of questions raced through my mind.

I hope he’s okay. I called this morning and one of his teachers said he’s okay and had already played with his friend. That kind of calmed me down a bit even though I still worried. I also worried that he thinks I had tricked and lied to him.

The thing about Emir is, he’s going through his “terrible 4” time afetr passing the "terrible 3" time....after passing the " terrible 2".... ! He’s a bit naughty now and more playful than before. He also seemed to have this attitude that if he thinks he’s not being treated right by his sister or friends, he would pull their hair or pinch them. Maybe these were done out of frustration from a small boy. He got punished every time though. Not severe punishment but out time and writing sentences. Maybe he got punished too often and he started not to enjoy school anymore. Or maybe this is just a phase that will pass. Well, these are just my guesses. I will certainly discuss this with his teachers later today. I will certainly try to reduce scolding him for a while for small misbehaviour.

I really hope he's okay now.

What a holiday!

I am back after a long… holiday. Well, I always take an extended holiday at end of year with my family. I haven’t been updating. I like to wish Happy New Year to everybody.

During the holiday we brought the children to Hong Kong and stayed for 10 days. Why Hong Kong? Well it started with me promising Fatini months ago to take her there after some of her friends came back from Hong Kong Disneyland. Since then, week after week she will follow up with my promise.

At 10 days we had enough time to visit Disneyland for two days and Ocean Park for 2 days. Other days were spent touring around the city on double decker bus, lingering around the famous Victoria Harbour at sea as well as at the port by day and by night.

There were also sufficient time to rest in between days so that the kids were not exhausted from too much activities.

This was my first time in Hong Kong and for me it was a pleasant surprise even though everything was so expensive. My advice will be to bring lots of cash and credit cards when visiting. Change your cash at the airport or money exchanger as hotels and banks do not accept RM for exchange. Banks may charge additional fees.

The cities were clean and the public transports were reliable. Bus was cheapest and MRT for four people was expensive. Taxi’s cost is as expected and we had used taxi for the first few days before we knew our way and started to take the bus. The kids wanted to ride on the bus anyway.

People seemed very busy and the street sides were as busy as Oxford Street in London during sales seasons. Hong Kong people are stylish and well dressed for most of them.

As for the kids, they had a good time and bought lots of toys. It’s very difficult to say no as toys were everywhere especially at the theme parks. I told Fatini there will be no new toys until next December!

Some pictures for memories.

Performance of the year

Last Sunday, as per previous years, Fatini and Emir’s school had their annual concert. I can only say that I’m proud of my children’s show of confidence as I am sure other parents there did too of their children that evening. I enjoyed the concert tremendously.

Picture showed some of the shows.

Chinese song and dance.

Cowboy dance.

Dancing with Castanets.

South American dance, forgot what it's called.

So Long, Farewell... from sounds of music

Fatini emceed the final curtain

And the ever supporting cousins Nabilah, Hakeem and kak Deea... and the mummy offcourse

The little warrior in action

Last Sunday, Fatini was scheduled to take the exam for the taekwondo grading. She has only started a dfew months. I realised that Fatini has many hidden talents which she didn't show to me. I meant, I never expected anything from her, I just wanted her to have a good time. However watching her perform the taekwondo, I can see how dedicated she is towards anything that she did and how responsible she is. She just filled me with admiration for her. I'm so proud of you sayang.

Happy Birthday Emir

On 5^th December 2009, Emir was finally 4 years old. I had his birthday party done 2 weeks plus earlier because of expected busy times during this time which is absolutely true.

Emir, you are a joy to my life. You have become so handsome and grown so tall. You are also very smart, capable and compassionate. Your mind sometimes surprises me with its brilliance and sharpness I didn’t know you possess for such a small person your age. You are also very responsible and very caring. You have a sense of fairness and always try to be fair to your love ones.

At four years old, you can talk very well now and sometimes non stop. You are not afraid to speak up and will voice out your mind to people. I love listening to you and your refreshing accent.

You want to sleep only with me by your side. When you were very little, which was just a couple of years ago, you didn’t want me out of your sight! However, I notice now, you have become so much more independent and it’s okay when mummy leave you to go somewhere else for a while. Even though it is more convenient to me now, in my heart I felt a twinge of sadness that you don’t depend too much on me anymore. When I wanted to go out and I told you to stay home and you said “ok mommy” with your ever beautiful accent, instead of crying, it pulled that sadness string in my heart.

You also liked to praise me, saying I’m pretty, and you know what, coming from you, it means a whole lot to me!

Emir, do you know that mummy really love to smell your smell, have you sit on my lap and have you snuggled closed to me. When you hit your sister during one of your naughty episodes and I warned you to give your sister away, you said “ No, I don’t want that!”

My heart swells with pride to watch you feeling secure and your confidence growing day after day.

And I hope to persevere that feeling of security and protect you from any harm.

I have thousands of words to say but it’s impossible for me to pen them down here.

All I can tell is I love you so much and you have been the greatest joy to me. I pray you turn out to be a good responsible person and that you be successful in your life.

Qurban

Last Sunday was one hot day in the farm at Meru. I joined my husband’s group of friends in making Qurban, slaughtering of 2 cows and 2 sheeps. The men were working on the animals. I couldn’t watch though and didn’t let the children see the actual slaughtering for fearing of misunderstanding as they are still very young.

Emir remarked that the men were wicked men! But fortunately the kids didn’t give much attention to the activities as they busied themselves with more interesting past time with the horses and goats on the farm. The women helped with the onions, tomatoes and carrots. Easy job for us.

The meat was distributed to the poor people round the village, a shelter for girls, and the Rohingya refugees. We did cooked some meats for a late lunch which was served garden tuscan styled under the trees. Very nice indeed. Everybody had a great time even though the weather was quite hot and sweaty. I didn’t take picture, but I did record some scenes on my camcorder. This one picture was snapped by Emir.

Emir

Emir’s receiving his year end graduation from the Edudrama class. It’s end of year cum Christmas celebration. The class will be closed and continue after new year. The kids have been enjoying the classes and I have no reason not to continue. As long as they are happy. One thing is Saturday morning will never be a free time for me. However, I am enjoying every moment of the busy"ness" of being a mom to almost school going kids.

I am proud of Emir. He has been progressing very well. His "pelat" ness is almost gone even though I feel his speech has accent of baby talk which I love so much. It makes him very endearing. However he's growing very fast in terms of physique (he's tall) as well as mental capabilities. His cheekiness and boyish naughtiness have been on the increasing trend as well and I'm trying to curb it and have been lecturing him. He's been a good boy 99% of the time. I'm so proud of him. I love you Mir.