A good morning

So last night, upon arriving home, and since my kids were still sleeping from the time in the car, I decided to miss their mengaji class (teruknye mommy…) and clean up the leftovers from the party yesterday and cleaned all the bowls. So it was clearing and washing dishes last night. My husband cleared the tables outside and me inside. I like my kitchen to be clean and clear of clutters. Mess in the kitchen is one of my No! No!. It’s depressing to return to a messy table or kitchen.

Did I tell you the maid ran away last week so I did all this myself which was nothing much anyway. The day helper I had on Sunday was helping a lot. I also had a part time maid coming on Monday morning. So there’s not much more for me to do last night. My house is spotlessly clean.

I didn’t want to cook. Luckily I had pasta from SF bought during the day, heated it and fed the children who were full anyway and didn’t want to eat too much. After Fatini woke up she asked to go to mengaji class, and I had to tell her there was no mengaji class last night. She was so upset but quickly recovered.

Anyway, we had a good early retirement to bed. I straight away dozed off but the kids continued playing with each other and with the daddy in bed. This morning I woke before the alarm clock, refreshed and eager to start a new day. Hehe good mood today …. La la la la la ….

My Sunday

I had a good day yesterday during our open house. We had guests until 9 pm. I got to meet back my old friends and also all the existing friends from my side as well as my husband’s side. We did not invite relatives actually only the special ones like my sis in law, which I took for granted to help herself while I entertained my other guests.

I was so busy I didn’t remember to take photos to post here. In fact, my kids were also victims because they were not being tended to as it should be. I was so worried about running out of food, luckily it was just enough. The guests didn’t come with empty tummies due to the numerous open houses on the weekend. Visiting was their main agenda.

Meeting old friends bring back nostalgia of younger carefree days. I was truly very happy and excited to meet them. Lee, Mei Mei, Chan, Lawrence and Majidan from my university days, Ani and Rozilah from my high school.  All came with their families and kids. Also was my friends from my single days, my colleagues, my neighbours, and also by boss’s family. Similarly for my husband’s side.

When the day ends, it was with satisfaction even though was totally exhausted.

Preparation

I am so damn busy this week. You know what, tar a…! I am preparing to have an “open” house this weekend. Actually it is a small informal type that receives close friends and families. It will be an all day long event. The food will be served on the table rather than served the buffet type. I am not one who likes to have the big open house where 300 guests are asked to come within an allocated 2 hours and you only meet briefly with each guest or none at all. For me this open house is not mainly for feasting only but time to invite friends/families to our home and be personal with us.

So whenever I have to prepare for a party or event like this, I get very nervous. There’s so much to prepare within such a short time. First and foremost, arranging with a caterer the menu and amount of food. I am always very careful and particular about this because I really hate wastage. I also like to add to the menu by preparing a dish or two myself. Showing off my cooking skills. So doing groceries and buying ingredients will be one of my activities this week as well.

Then comes the preparation of the list of invitees. Who to invite and who may actually be able to make it. Siapakah yang sudi mengunjung teratak ku…

Then the dishes and bowls and cutleries. These will be mixed between my own and disposables. I have to wash the serving dishes, ensure that they are enough and clean. I have been doing that for the past two nights.

Extra help is required and I have arranged for an extra helper for the day.

With Hariraya open house, green packets for the kids is a must, otherwise kesian at those kids, balik tangan kosong. These can take quite some amount off the budget. Yalah kalau sorang bawa 4 anak , berapa dah tu…. But Hariraya without kids will be a bland and dull one. They are the penyeri majlis, the stars of the party. So entertaining them is a must. These kids don’t care how much is inside the packet but to get them they will be willing to salam and will be so happy. Like my kids they will open the packet on the spot, not to count the money since they don’t know how to appreciate money yet, but to see the inside. I hope the guests kids won’t do that, ha ha you know why la… limited budget!

I don’t do house decorations, whatever is already there is good enough for me, I hope for the guests too. Nothing new has been added.

I hope I will have a meaningful Hariraya open house.

He's not worth it!

Almost everybody has experienced break-ups. You know the man-woman break ups. Husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc etc. And then we moved on. Most of us found somebody else after that, 99.99% of the time the new person is better than the one who left us or we left. Then we wondered, what was the big deal with the previous one before.

There are different degrees of heart aches after the breakups. Very hurtful, hurtful, mildly hurtful, or felt nothing. It depends on the length of the relationship, the dependence of one person on the other, the number and age of the children, the amount of wealth, the sacrifice been made, the suffering during the marriage or whatever that one may have felt.

In unhappy unions, women stayed in a relationship until they got dumped and men stayed in a relationship until they found somebody better. At other times, it’s the other way around. However this may take years to happen, lots of hurtful things happen meanwhile and the final inevitable break-ups became more bitter.  

In happy unions (not necessarily a perfect one), we think we have found our match and love and therefore will work on the marriage/relationship. Life is much better. Both will work towards a common objective without deviating too much from the family core. This we normally have after much hardship, sometimes at later stage of our life, thus came the phrase “ Life starts after forty”. Others that found them easy and early and are most definitely the luckier ones.

My empathy goes to those who are still pained by the experience of breakups. I can understand the hurt, the pain, the revenge. Each situation is unique by itself. Some men(women) are really xSSxxxxxS. But feelings are just feelings created by us and our thoughts. Forgive and forget is unthinkably difficult but has been proven time after time as the best solution. The best revenge is not to focus on the undeserved other person but to ourselves, family and our life. Let’s move on, God has much more to offer us. Don’t be afraid to let go and be happy.

What's boiling?

You know what I sometimes feed my children especially when I need to be on the go but lack the time to prepare. Or when I am somewhere and don’t have anything healthy. Some people may call me lazy. Actually I did it when I felt lazy too. What I did was I would boil a few eggs and served them to my kids for a meal. Fatini will throw away the yellow crumbly yolk and just ate the white part. The best thing is my kids like them hard boiled or half boiled but not fried.

Actually eggs are good food for you especially for the children. With their significant protein, vitamin and mineral content and relatively low saturated fat content, eggs are a valuable component in a healthy diet.

Protein

Eggs contain the highest quality food protein known. It is second only to mother's milk for human nutrition. Egg protein is of high biological value as it contains all the essential amino acids needed by the human body. Eggs therefore complement other food proteins of lower biological value by providing the amino acids that are in short supply in those foods. 12.5% of the weight of the egg is protein and it is found in both the yolk and the white albumen. Although protein is more concentrated around the yolk, there is in fact more protein in the albumen.

On the evaluation scale most commonly used for assessing protein, egg is at the highest point, 100, and is used as the reference standard against which all other foods are assessed.

Vitamins

Egg yolk is the major source of the egg's vitamins and minerals. Eggs contain most of the recognised vitamins with the exception of vitamin C. The egg is a good source of all the B vitamins, plus the fat-soluble vitamin A. It also provides useful amounts of vitamin D, as well as some vitamin E.

Minerals

Eggs contain most of the minerals that the human body requires for health. In particular eggs are an excellent source of iodine, required to make the thyroid hormone, and phosphorus, required for bone health. The egg provides significant amounts of zinc, important for wound healing, growth and fighting infection; selenium, an important antioxidant; and calcium, needed for bone and growth structure and nervous function. Eggs also contain significant amounts of iron, the vital ingredient of red blood cells.

What about cholesterol?

Egg yolks are indeed full of cholesterol. As in everything else moderation in egg intake is required. The average large egg contains 212 milligrams of cholesterol. The fat of an egg is found almost entirely in the yolk; there is less than 0.05% in the albumen. However you could opt for the healthier Omega-3 eggs which have healthier fats in the yolk.

Following is additional facts on egg yolk and egg white for our information.

Help !!!!

Fatini has been nagging me she wants a baby sister. I think she’s had enough of her baby brother. The other day she asked me whether I had a baby sister in my tummy. To answer her, I said, No, but I’ll go to the hospital and get a baby sister for you. Well it was a wrong answer because after which day after day she kept on asking me when am I going to the hospital to pick up the baby sister. She even had a name for “her”. Lastly I had an answer to stall her, Oh! The doctor had taken the baby to his home, I need to find another hospital first and find another baby sister for you. I am thinking, alamak…. do I have to adopt a baby girl hah …?????

It's no more holiday !

So I am back at work now, back to routine. I had taken the whole week off. What a break that was! The lower back pain I complaint about surprisingly is completely gone. In fact I forgot all about it. Not even a twinge felt now. I guess it was caused by the stress at work and perhaps the daily driving to and from work. All I needed was a break. Before I had tortured myself with thoughts of 1001 chronic illnesses that may have caused the pain. I even suffered some morbid thoughts. Now it’s gone just like that!

(well, just let you know, this morning when I woke up I felt pain in another spot, which is my right upper back, must be because I am back to work)

The holiday was a great time for me. I have always cherished these kinds of little break because it means I spent every minute of the whole week with my kids and husband. Not really attending them 100% of the time but having them around near me 100% of the time! That never happened during other times when we met up only at night and that is for a couple of hours only before we went for slumber. I also enjoyed the time spent with my in-laws. They are great people, I have been so lucky. (Ni in case diaorang baca la ni…he he )

Actually I was supposed to be in the office on Monday. That was the plan. But we started the journey back home a few hours late. We arrived home at 2.30 am on Monday so by the time I was to get ready to work I was still too sleepy to even force myself up. I felt so terrible having to wake up. I continued sleeping thinking maybe I just woke up late that day and went to the office later than usual. It was the first day back to work so people should be most forgiving if I were late. But after I forced myself up and started cleaning the house and cooking for my kids, and later when the children woke up, time just flew by I didn’t realize Monday was ending. So Monday was spent totally at home.

Later on Monday evening, my mother and sister’s family dropped by before they went back  to Melaka. They were in KL sending my niece back to college. My children were excited when they came, Emir as usual started being funny. Unlucky for him, in his excitement he knocked on the dining table edge while trying to pick up a ball from under the table. Due to his energy it was quite a hard thud. Poor my Emir, he was crying so hard due to the pain. My heart went out to him. It left him a swollen and blue black eye. It got me worried for a while. He also scratched himself bad on the legs because of itchiness due to some tickly insect bites he got from kampong. So he had all these little lesions here and there on which I put some Gamat oil to heal.

So Tuesday I had to start work. It was so depressing having to wake up early and go to work again. Holiday was really over. Anyway when I got back to work, the socializing with friends also started. It was not bad but for every lunch there was a get together I am beginning to worry about putting on the weight back. Please… no more ….I got a new diet plan now which I am trying starting now. Nothing extreme. Just reorganizing what to eat.  Now it’s Thursday and this weekend I am going back to Melaka.

Potret HariRaya

Malam Raya di Kampung

Bring back memories of childhood. It took nothing to get the children to be so engrossed. Main api sesama sepupu. Lantak lah budak2… bagi can setahun sekali… In a while Fatini came to me… Mommy! Mommy! Abang put fire on the frog…! (Yuck! Gross!)

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Superman di malam tujuh likur

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Scene at our front porch a couple of nights before Raya. They were so excited to play. Ended up, Emir touched the hot flaming part of the firework. Expectedly his touch reflex was slow and the hot steel burned his hand between the thumb and index finger to my profund distress. Left a terrible mark.

Bicara Hati di Aidil Fitri

Menjelang aidil fitri

Aku kesunyian disini

Sedih pilu sekali

Entah mengapa sungguh hairan

Rasa tak kesampaian

Sesuatu telah hilang

Ku duduk pinggir sendiri

Menghitung hari

Memikir diri

Bukan kah sepatutnya hari ini

Gembira datang dihati

Kerana Syawal kan hampir mejelang

Semua menyambut riang!

Jadi mengapa aku masih sebak dihati?

Rasa kekosongan diri

Ada hajat tak sampai?

Atau tak puas di hati?

Wahai Ramadhan

Pergi engkau sekali lagi

Meninggal kan diri ini

Serupa seperti dulu

Entah mengapa

Rasa tak kesampaian

Sesuatu telah hilang

(end)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

kepada semua pembaca budiman tak kira siapa, dimana jua berada.

Ampun maaf dipinta

Tersalah kata-kata

Pena ini dari hati

Kadang kala tenang

Kadangnya gusar

Kepada ibubapa ku

Ampun kan dosa

Minta halal makan dan minum

Terima kasih atas budimu

Kepada suamiku

Engkaulah sandaranku

Temanku dalam kehidupan

Ampunkan dosaku dan halalkan

Segalanya

Aku hanyalah isteri biasa

Kepada anak2 ku

Maafkan ibumu yang kekurangan

Kesilapan seorang ibu

Mohon tuhan lindungi kalian

Chain of Love

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When I was small, I remember one of my parents’ passions was to buy golds for me and my sister. It was hard time for them not having money but they still invested in these presents. As a result, I remember the happiness of wearing them, the talks between my parents and the wonder of these little bright golden metals hanging beautifully down my neck. I was so proud of wearing them.

So that passion has transferred to me. This year I bought Fatini a bracelet, I didn’t buy it actually. I took my old rings I bought myself a few years back, sold them and got a nice bracelet for my daughter.

Fatini, my little gift for you to brighten up your early memory of HariRaya.

Turning a blind eye

I have a headache. One of the burdens in life is having a live-in maid. I think everybody may tend to agree with me. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. So essential but to many unlucky ones may face various problems associated with them. Name it, social problem, abuse problem, runaway, health and hygiene, and these are all the things we try to regulate in our home.

Near all my friends have one or all of these problems. Some of them gave up totally. One or two ignored the problems.

For me what choice do I have? I needed a maid so I see what I want to see so that I can live happily and ignore any warning signs.

She has been working with me for almost 2 years and there were lots of telltale signs which I ignored because I needed a maid to clean and iron. Lately somehow I became fearful to leave the kids with her even for half an hour for a short trip to the shop. Lots of horrendous thoughts entered my mind, you know all the horror stories you heard.

Many times it’s so frustrated to see her cleaning work. Even a twelve year old can think. And she is 40 year old.

My maid destroyed our garments. To avoid from scolding her I decided that all washing and clothes segregation is done by me. She didn’t wash food properly and her cooking was so yucky despite reminders. Tired of talking, starting 6 months ago, all food preparation and cooking is done by me. No problem I still can take all those. Once arrived home from work, I rushed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. She accompanied my kids watching TV.

Not to mention anything that she could break had been broken. Sometimes I also was amazed by her strength.

My children they don’t want Bibik to wash for them or to bathe them or to change their clothes. No problem, I’ll do it. Anyway what better way to bond and form relationship with our kids.

I know she has never shown concern for the kids and seemed to put herself before the kids. Many times I have lectured her about it but nothing seems to change. What can I do, I need her for cleaning and ironing.

Her appetite seemed to be so big, I made it a point she had something to munch all the time so that she won’t be bored staying at home during the day. She finished everything in a flash and I needed to find some more for her.

Her night routine is watching TV with me and the kids. Well; she’s a human being too!

Anyway, this is what bothered me. Emir, since he started talking and because nursery children are always taught to complain when being hit, have been complaining to me recently that the maid slapped and pushed his head. It happened again this morning when I left them alone at the car for a short while. When I started to drive away, Emir said “ Mommy.. Bibik pushed my head..” I was already late so I decided not to return to the house to ask the maid about it. Previously a month ago, I needed to go to the shop after coming back from work. When I left the house Emir was crying because he wanted to follow me and Fatini was sleeping. When I got back upstairs Emir said “ Mommy, Bibik pushed my head “ and used his hand to demonstrate how the maid slapped the back of his head and jerked his head. I repeatedly asked him just to make sure and got the same answers. Immediately I went to my CCTV recorder ( I have a CCTV at home with 4 cameras covering major family areas, I never checked this recorder unless I am suspicious of something). I rewind and checked and I found that I didn’t see her and Emir for a period of 15 minutes in those areas (I was gone for about 45 minutes). From the recorder I can guess she put Emir between the kitchen and the main hall downstairs which is a blind spot to the camera.

I went downstairs and asked her where was she and Emir because I couldn’t see them in the camera recorder. She told me at the front door because Emir was crying. I didn’t tell her what Emir told me but instead warned her that she was not to hit my kids. She nicely said her previous jobs were all looking after small kids and she never hit any of those kids.

I found out yesterday from neighbours and my mother’s maid that

1. her day daily chore is hanging out with one maid after another from morning to evening. Just before I got home she will return to the house. No wonder my house is so dusty.

2. When she was working with another family in Saudi she was beaten because the employer found out she had been hitting their kids

Do I still need her? Do I need to wait for a bigger reason before I decide to rid of her?